Season 1, 2, 3 4 and 5 The Originals

Chapter 5-Celebration Dinner

Monday November 25, 2019, 4:30 PM

After Penny had finally quit sobbing, she headed for home, calling Dan, and explaining she wasn't feeling well. On the way, she stopped to buy a couple bottles of red wine, specifically with sulfates, to prevent Leonard from drinking them. Once home, although she couldn't believe she was doing it, she poured both bottles down the sink and refilled them out of the bottle of red grape juice, she had also purchased. This way, she could pour a drink out of those bottles, and at least look like she was drinking wine. She knew there would be questions if she wasn't drinking wine.

After that, she puts the grape juice bottle in the trash, and then took the bag out to the apartment's trash bin. This way, there would be no evidence of anything other than wine, being in the bottles. She poured a glass of the grape juice, then sat at the island. As she had been doing since finding out she was pregnant, she was thinking about the pregnancy, and what she was going to do about it.

I've got to come to some kind of decision. Do I want kids or not? After all, I was unsure, so I just kept saying yes, until last fall. It's not my fault, I didn't tell Bernadette and Leonard that I ask them, what if I didn't want them? Bernadette started giving me reasons to have them, and Leonard just got pissed off, then called my dad. They should know that pushed me, will just make me do the opposite. But, am I still unsure? Or, did I decide I didn't want them, just because I was pissed off? If so, that's really not a good reason not to have them.

Then, Zack asked Leonard to be his sperm donor, and it upset me, but why? Because someone else would be having Leonard's kids, and not me? But, if I don't want them, then it shouldn't bother me if Leonard donates his sperm to a couple who needs it. But, it did bother me, why? Is it because I do want to have kids with Leonard?

Then there was the conversation with my dad. Asking me if I was mad at myself. No, I wasn't... well, yes I was. I was worried about disappointing Leonard, and my dad. Not to mention Bernie and Amy, but, none of that matters. Just because it's disappointing to them, doesn't mean I have to have a kid to please them. This is a lifetime commitment for me, not for them, well for Leonard too.

To be honest, I haven't been sure since that day my dad talked to me, and Leonard told me he wasn't going to be a donor for Zack and Marissa. And, they both have been great about it. Neither one has said anything since, so it's not like they are pressuring me.

Penny realized that while she eventually told everyone she didn't want them, she hadn't thought about what she might have to do if she got pregnant. She had just assumed that not wanting kids meant she would get pregnant. But, now, that is exactly what she was, pregnant, and exactly what she was doing, trying to decide what to do.

Was about Leonard? I'm just assuming he wants kids, but he's never explained why he wants them. Maybe, his reasons for having them, will help me. Although, from his reactions, I think he would want me to have it. And, of course I'll talk to him, before I make any kind of final decision, after all, it's his kid too. But, right now, I just don't know. Penny sighed and took another drink of grape juice. But, just because I'm unsure, it doesn't mean I have to have this kid, does it? What if I'm unsure, and decide too late that I don't want one? What can I do then? Dr. Samuels mentioned adoption, but I couldn't do that to Leonard. He said he would be heartbroken, if he had a kid out there, and he wasn't their dad. So, that leaves me one option, if I don't want kids.

But, is that really any better, on Leonard, than giving it up for adoption? Either way, there would be a kid, that Leonard would be the father to, that ue couldn't help raise. And, do I really want an abortion? And if I decide to have one, and could I bring myself to tell Leonard? I just don't know unless... Penny thought of the last 12 years, since she met Leonard, I wasn't sure I wanted to go out with him, but I did go out with him. Then, I didn't think I was smart enough for him, but that didn't matter, when we finally did start dating. Then, he said, 'I love you,' and I wasn't sure I could ever say it back to him. After struggling with it, I broke up with him, so I wouldn't be stringing him along. Then, we started dating again, and I was finally able to say I love him. But, we had that fight, about his moving in. I wasn't sure, just like now, but eventually, we basically were living together, just not calling it that.