If You Were Mine

X. My biggest fear ever

You wake up all of a sudden as the allarm starts ringing, looking at the clock you realise it's 6am, you need to get ready for work.

You grab your phone and check if there's any text from your boyfriend, nothing...

Shawn left for tour 2 days ago, he promised he'd let you know when he gets to the hotel but he didn't...you were very worried but when you called Connor you got to know that they landed safely...but why didn't he call? From then till now you haven't received anything from him and you just can't figure it out the reason of his behavior...nothing happened between you!

You throw the phone on the messy blankets and go to the washroom.

As you lock the door behind you, you hear your phone ringing; you get out and jump onto the phone, it's Shawn

Y/N: Hey babe, is everything alright? You've been unreachable lately, I was worrying...

S: Y/N, we need to talk about something...

Y/N: yes baby?!

S: Y/N it's been almost 2 years since we first met and fell for each other, our relationship has been the strongest and the best one...

Your heart starts racing...something bad is coming up

S: But I don't think it's the same anymore...I don't feel the way I felt for you two years ago...I don't think what's between us is working...I guess we'd better choose our own paths

The sky falls apart and you feel buried under the weight of it...your breath starts getting heavier and a freezing wind gets through you making your organs bump

Y/N: Do you realise what you're saying Shawn? Two damn years! All the promises you made to me, all the nights we spent into each other's arms, all the seconds we spent trying to catch breath while kissing and you're saying, you don't feel it anymore?

S: Y/N I know it's hard...

Y/N: NO SHAWN IT'S NOT HARD, I DON'T HAVE A HEART AND I DON'T FEEL, IT MEANS NOTHING TO ME, IT NEVER MEANT ANYTHING TO ME

You cut the call and drop the phone on the bed, your hands are shaking and scorching hot tears are rolling over your raw cheeks

Your sis gets into the room, she might have heard you yelling at Shawn

SIS: Are you ok sis?

You turn around and see her soft and worried face looking at you so innocently, you can't keep yourself anymore and burst into tears, your sis gets there and hugs you tight

Y/N: He left me, I knew this was gonna happen one day, this was my biggest fear ever...he has definately found someone way better than me, why would he even stay with someone like me?! I fucking hate my life I just wanna die

Sis: No sis please don't say that! You're the best person on earth you deserve the world! He doesn't even realise what he's done...

Y/N: It's all my fault, I'm just a non-necessary and idiot girl who commited a sin by loving a person more than herself...He is right leaving me! Everyone should leave, no metter what, don't waste your time on me, you can go as well sis...

X: But what if this idiot girl is the one I fall for everytime I look at her eyes? What if my whole world was around you? What about me refusing to look at any girl on earth, cause I'm yours and only yours?

You look around and find Shawn standing behind you, wearing a white shirt and with some flowers in his hands

S: Baby, I'm sorry...

Suddenly Connor pops up from behind, he has a guilty pale face and doesn't dare to look in your eyes while talking

C: Y/N, please don't be sad or angry with Shawn, it's not his fault...we were playing truth or dare and we dared him to do this, we never thought it would end up like this...we didn't want this to break your heart like this I swear, pls forgive us...

You can't believe what you've just heard...your feel nauseous and start shaking

Y/N: Do you guyz think this is a fucking joke? Do I seem a joke to you? You thought it to be a simple joke BUT I FUCKING SAW MY WORLD TEARING APART!

You feel a shock going through your body, suddenly you loose your balance and fall onto you knees.
Shawn tries to help but you push him away, he insists and gets closer.

You can't take all the pressure anymore and let your body go in Shawn's arms...you're still angry but you can't help yourself anymore...

S: I'm sorry baby, I swear I didn't want to, I knew this wouldn't go well but I didn't even realise it would go this bad...I'm so sorry please Y/N I swear I'm never gonna let you down again, never ever

Y/N: I- , I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have overreacted like that.. I'm sorry Connor I didn't mean to be that mean but I really couldn't help, you guyz can't even imagine what I was going through...I felt destroyed, my emotions were dead and I would have rather died than hearing that from you Shawn

Tears start falling all over you face and you're not able to say anything else even if you have too much to say

You try to say something but Shawn stops you right away, as soon as you open your mouth he pulls you close and kisses you...

You both kiss for so long, your eyes are closed and the tears that have lined your cheeks are being dried by Shawn's heavy breath, both of you are out of breath but you still don't get a second of rest, that feeling of unrest was actually what made you rest...your soul was being healed, your mind was getting warmed and your heart was getting to his right pace...