If You Were Mine

XXI. Perfection

It's a sunday night and instead of having a fun night you and Shawn decide to have a home sweet home day.

You're staring at your reflection at the mirror while combing your hair and all of a sudden you start focusing on your body, your hips, your thighs, your arms and your legs...

Y/N: I think I'll go on a diet, I need to loose some kilos

Shawn who was half lying and half sitting on the left side of your bed sits up and you feel his stare onto you.

S: But...why?

Y/N: It's just that, I- I just want to loose some weight...

S: ok but why? I don't get it honey like why would you do that?

Y/N: I feel like I'd look better...

S: but you already look stunning darling! I don't understand why would you need to loose weight for that

Y/N: thank you honey but I- I don't know I feel like it'd be better if I lost some weight

S: Are you insecure about your look?

Y/N: No I mean I-...

Words are stuck in your throat and a wave of breeze runs all over your body...

You've always struggled for insecurity, always, since the first day you saw your sister coming home crying cause she was bodyshamed...

Every little different thing you have onto your body felt like being a big mistake or imperfection, you saw girls online who looked very thin and had a great body and you felt even more sick.

You never liked your thick legs and your wide shoulder, your hips were too large according to what you wished you had and at some point you found yourself not having dinner for days just because you didn't like your tummy fat.

Shawn has never shown any kind of problem with your body, he always made you feel like the most beutiful girl on the planet but still- you felt like not being enough for him, cause he was so handsome and you were a simple girl full of imperfections.

S: Hey baby, look at me

You firsly hesitate, but then slowly turn around and find Shawn sitting on the edge of the mattress and looking at you...you are not able to look him into his eyes

S: Look at me baby!

As you move your eyes onto his face a rush goes all over your body reaching the eyes and tears find place in your eyes, making it hard for you to see Shawn's milk-white face

S: You see, when I first fell in love with you, I didn't fall for your body, not for your eyes, smile, hips or any other part of your body, I fell in love with your soul and who you really are. And then later when we started dating and I started descovering the material you, I fell in love with it too, with every single inch of it! Your legs, your thighs, your tummy and your shoulder are now my happy place. There's no place I'd rather be than here!
Baby I know that our society and media put high standards for us to fit in, but believe me, you don't have to! They're all fake, everything is just super fake and nothing else than that! You know how beautiful you are?! I literally fall in love with who and what you are every day, more and more, and there's absolutely no stop to it!
I don't care what people say, and you shouldn't too, cause YOU are the definition of perfect to me, not the girls who show up walking like surreal people every now and then wearing clothes that are too shiny for them!

Tears start now rolling all over your cheeks and you feel like a totally defeated person.
Why on earth would you want to be skinnier? To be more beautiful for the love of your life, right? But he's saying himself that you're perfect, who other should you care about?!

You hug Shawn as tight as possible and whisper a "thank you" in his ear, he rubs his big hand on your back and gently kisses your shoulder as many times as he can

S: You don't have to thank me darling, I only said very little about how perfect you are! If I had to continue I'd go on talking for days and never stop

Y/N: You' re the best man any girl could ever dream for!

S: See, that's another reason you're perfect(:

Y/N: Oh pls, not again! AHAHAHAHHAHA

S: I love you baby, so so so so much!