Greed

13

Lia

Everything was a blur. Pero kahit ganoon, hindi ko pinabayaan ang pag aaral ko. Mas pinagsikapan ko pa. Baka isipin pa ni Kyle na siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako bumagsak.

But I didn't want to fail.

This was the only thing that I'm holding on.

"Magtthrow ng party iyong kambal mamaya, birthday daw ng kaibigan nila. Do we go?"

Thea and Zach were talking. Nasanay na sila na hindi ako masyadong nagsasalita at laging nagmmemorize.

Ayoko lang.

"I don't know. Lia doesn't look like she wants to."

"Yeah, she's been really down lately."

They started whispering.

Hindi ko na sila pinansin pa at nagmemorize.

I can live without Kyle. But without a degree? No.

--

"Congrats, Lia!" Zach and Thea enveloped me in a group hug.

I smiled.

I never expected this.

"Ang galing galing mo!" It was Mama and Papa's turn to hug me tightly.

"Salamat,"

Inabutan ako ni Leo ng bouquet ng bulaklak kaya hinalikan ko siya. Ang cute cute.

"Shet, akalain mo yun Liandra na puro party, summa cum laude? Tangina, solid!" Thea stated.

I rolled my eyes.

Sabay sabay naman kaming nag aaral. Pare parehas din ng minememorize. Pero eto ako, with honors.

Ang galing ko.

Nanatali pa kami saglit sa graduation hall at nag picture taking.

Ang gaan sa pakiramdam. Parang binunutan ako ng tinik sa lalamunan.

Finally. All our hard work have paid off.

Sabay sabay kaming lumabas tatlo nila Thea at Zach. Nauna na sila Mama sa hotel para magpahinga. Saktong kakadating lang kasi nila kanina nung nagsisimula na iyong program. Ang layo pamandin ng biniyahe nila.

But I saw him.

And my smile faded.

"We'll leave you two. Nasa parking lang kami when you need us. One call away lang." Thea said before kissing me on the cheeks and leaving.

I bit my bottom lip.

How do I look at him without feeling guilt? Without feeling hurt?

It's hard.

"Congratulations," He said with a smile and handed me a bouquet of tulips.

"Salamat," I smiled.

But the pain was still there.

Mali ba na masaktan ako kahit ako naman ang sumira samin?

Ni hindi nga alam nila Mama na wala na kami ni Kyle. Hindi din nila pansin na hindi ko na suot iyong engagement ring ko.

Wala akong ibang sinabihan. Kahit sila Thea.

But they always knew.

"Lunch date?"

Tinitigan ko lang siya. Hindi ko malaman kung anong pakay niya. Pagkatapos kong umamin na niloko ko siya, hindi na siya nagparamdam pa.

Even on Mark's funeral. He wasn't there.

Para bang binura na niya ako sa buhay niya.

It hurts, but I was the one at fault.

I merely smiled, "I'll pass."

"Please?"

I licked my bottom lip. Why was he so persistent? Alam naman namin na wala na.

I loved him. I still do.

Pero tinalikuran ko na iyong parte na yun ng buhay ko.

I couldn't dwell on the past any longer.

Sinasabi ng isip ko wag. Pero tumungo ako sa kaniya.

Tinext ko sila Thea na hindi muna ako makakasama sa kanila at mamayang gabi nalang kami mag celebrate para naman makaalis na sila at di ako intayin.

"Summa cum laude ka?" He asked, looking at my medal.

"Yeah," Tipid kong sagot.

I don't even know why I agreed to this. Basta ang alam ko, gusto ko.

Our food arrived soon after.

Hiniwa ng maliliit ni Kyle iyong meat na inorder ko saka inabot sakin.

Nag order lang siya ng salad.

Hmm.

He did change.

Lagi ko nga siya napapanood sa TV kahit ilang buwan lang simula nung naghiwalay kami. He's also been on a lot of magazine cover and billboard.

Sobrang nag boom iyong career niya.

Tahimik lang akong kumain. Napapansin ko na patingin tingin siya sakin pero di ko siya masyadong tinitignan.

I didn't want to give in.

"Do you..."

Napatingin ako sa kaniya.

There were tears forming in his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to marry me?"

Natigilan ako. It's supposed to be a will you marry me.

I smiled. "I don't think I can, Kyle."

"I still want to marry you, do you?"

"I want to, but I can't."

"Then let's get married."

"It's not that simple, Kyle."

"It is. You're just complicating it."

Unang pagkikita namin after months tapos makikipag talo pa siya.

He reached for my hand and kissed it. "Let's give this another shot, Liandra. Kasi ako? Pinilit kong kalimutan ka. You don't even know how I tried so much. But a part of me wants to be with you, and no one can change that."