Weak

How did I get so lucky?

"Weak"
"Pathetic"
"Useless"
"Mistake"
"Waste of time"
The nightmare happened again, this time there were more people, the most noticeable being his mother, the only one that ever gave him love in his human life. She didn't wear her kind smile this time though, she wore a broken look, disappointed in a sort of way.
"Was I not a good enough mother for you?" She said, her face stained with black tears and her eyes a dark black void.
"No! Mom that's not true!" Angel said, trying to go near his mother, he felt a pain in his wrists and the clinking of chains he shouted. He turned and saw two chains leading to a large red grin, the one Valentino wore so well all the time, Angel coward under his gaze.

Angels mother continued crying,
"Ma don't cry!" Angel said, turning his attention back to his mom, shaking in fear and helplessness. Angels mother looked up at him,
"You left me with him... Its your fault I died because of him..." She said, anger in her deep dead eyes.
"I didn't mean it, I didn't want to leave you with him! Please believe me!" He replied, getting louder by the second. His mom scoffed, begining to rise, slowly fading away, his eyes widened and he shouted for her. She  looked away from him,
"Ma!" He shouted, she disappeared with a flash and Angels legs gave away and he started crying on the ground. He looked around him at the same faces of his friends, Charlie looked scared, shocked by his actions. The others just shook their heads disapprovingly,
"Please! Guys listen! I'm not a monster!" He looked at his friends with a hoping smile, they didn't return it. He shouted.
"I'm not a-"

"Monster!" He shouted jumping up from his bed. He looked around in his room, shaking violently. Alastor rolled over and sat up, looking at Angel in worry,
"My dear?... It happened again didn't it!" He said looking at his boyfriend. Angel was breathing heavily and he looked over at Alastor, complete fear in his eyes, he started crying. Alastor quickly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, letting Angel rest his head on his chest.
"Oh Angel please don't cry... Don't worry it's fine..." He said rubbing Angels back, trying to comfort him. Angel kept repeating the phrase,
"I'm not a monster... I'm not a monster..." He mumbled, almost rocking back and forth.

Alastor tried to keep his smile, but it was just so hard. He hated it when Angel had nightmares, it hadn't been this bad though, but they had been getting a lot worse lately, he didn't know why. He felt the tears on his chest from Angel and he pulled the spider of him, wiping his tears,
"Darling... You are not a monster... I just wish you would talk to me about it..." He said, kissing Angel on the forehead. Angel sighed and stood up, still in his black shorts showing his weightless body and making Alastor try to recall when he last ate. Alastor got up and put on his dark black robe, looking over at Angel.

Angel picked up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, stepping outside of the dark crimson red room out to Alastor's balcony. Alastor followed, standing beside Angel who put his elbow on the balcony side and lit his cigarette, emitting red smoke as Angel sucked it in and puffed out the smoke, with a small cough. Alastor placed a hand on the spiders shoulder, Angel looked at him, a hurt look in his eye as if Alastor did some.thing wrong.
"Tell me." Alastor said, in an almost pleading way. Angel sighed,
"Well I've told ya sort of what happens usually, y'know... With you and the others?" He said, a tear hitting the balcony ledge. Alastor nodded, glad to finally hear an explanation even though he was slightly worried for what he was about to hear.

Angel looked down at the back of the hotel, it was quite I nice view, better than the one in his room anyway, he took a deep breath and continued,
"It was my ma'... When I was alive she loved me, I loved her like you loved yer ma' actually... I overdosed... I locked myself in the bathroom and I overdosed and the strongest drug I had... The last thing I heard was banging on the door and both my parents shouting ma' name... By the time they burst through I was probably dead by then." Angel sniffed, trying to calm himself down. Alastor nodded and have him his full attention, he gave him a smile that comforted him, so he continued.