Sarah Paulson one-shots: You & Her

Don't shut me down

I sat in the staff room, thinking to myself. Suddenly, she walked in.

I can't begin to describe the way she makes me feel. I get nervous around her but I feel so safe with her, no matter how mean she could be. I watched as she walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside.

Suddenly, she turned around and glared at me. "Excuse me... you're eating my peach" she said coldly. My eyes widened, I stared at the peach in my hands that I hadn't taken a bite out of yet.

"I am so sorry Nurse Ratched! Here, I haven't touched it" I said nervously, handing her the peach back. Yet, she said nothing. Just continued to stare.

"I don't want it, not anymore" she spoke, no expression could be seen.

*It's time, at last, to let her know* Nurse Ratched thought to herself.

I just stared at her, "I believe it would be fair to say, you look bewildered" she spoke again, with a smirk this time.

"I-" I began but she walked towards me, "you wonder why I'm here today?" I nodded. "And so you should, I would" she smirked. I just continued to stare at her, confused. She sat down next to me and cupped my cheek. To her touch, I flinched.

"I have learned to cope, and love and hope is why I am here now" she smiled. I could see something in her eyes but I couldn't quite place what it was. "Now you see another me, I've been reloaded" she grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her. I took in her facial features willingly.

*She's like a dream within a dream* I thought to myself as she spoke to me.

"Y/N I have something to tell you, please listen carefully" she stated, looking deep into my eyes.

"I'm not the one you knew, I'm now and then combined. And I'm asking you to have an open mind... I'm not the same this time around" she whispered. "What do you mean, you're not the same" I asked scared.

"I'm changing Y/N. I'm changing for you" she smiled. I just nodded, knowing that I liked her. Did she change for me? I didn't know what to say.

"Will you leave me standing in the hall, or let me enter?" she asked. "I-I... I would let you in" I stuttered. A smirk reappeared on her face, "good".

"Nurse Ratched, I don't quite understand" I whispered, her hand still on my chin.

"Y/N. I want you. I always have! But I feel as though I have scared you away with my tough demeanour and strict rules. You must understand that it is difficult for us to accept these feelings" she said, getting closer to me. I didn't dare move a muscle.

"I- I do understand Nurse Ratched but... but why me?" I asked, puzzled. "Please, call me Mildred, Y/N. You have no reason to be addressing me formally" she smiled. Yet, I still stayed quiet, just looking deep into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Y/N I know my tantrums and increasing frustration are scary but I go from mad, to not so bad in my transformation" Mildred stated. I chuckled, "and now you see another me?" I asked. She nodded lightly. "Exactly that. I just couldn't see it before now. But I fear it may be too late" she turned away.

"Mildred" I whispered, making her look back at me. "It's never too late. But, you didn't answer my question before, why me?"

"I am not the one you knew, I'm now and then combined. And I'm asking you to have an open mind. I'm not the same this time around I'm fired up, don't shut me down" she took a deep breath.

"You ask me not to leave. Well, here I am again, and I love you still and so I won't pretend" My heart began racing at her words.

"Because of you... I have learned to cope, and love and hope is why I am here now" she said finally, closing the gap between us and capturing my lips in a loving kiss.