Shattered

Blast From The Past You Say?

My eyes pop awake. I have barely slept though. Afraid that Jeremy might stumble back into the house to finish me off.

My son in my arms, I dome over him. Protecting him from his own father.

How ironic, his father should be the on protecting him. From the world. Not this way at all.

I bolt from the bed.

Suitcase, suitcase... suitcase. Ahha!

I grab all of Ethan's stuff and I squeeze them into the suitcase. My son might have just witnessed a traumatic image that may scar him for life.

I freshen up and wash the little boy up.

"Mama!" He says.

"Shh baby! I need you to keep quiet for mommy okay?" I plead. I have no idea if he is still in the house or not. I dont want an encounter with him this early.

I tip toe down stairs,  the suitcase in my arms. I grab his car key and I walk outside. The chilly air finds comfort on my face as I stuff the bag in the trunk.

I walk back into the house and drop the keys on the table. Ethan is still seated on the carpet, his toys in hands and he is playing with it.

His baby language fills the room. My heart melts. This is my child. A human I made.

I pick him up and the toys he had been playing with. He grabs the plastic car from my hand. Leaving me with the toy spade.

I walk down stairs as silently as I can. Until his voice echoes to the four walls of this room. Causing the bruises to ache.

"Hey." He says gently.

I walk down the stairs, afraid to say anything. What if I say something that angers him and he ends up hitting me again?

"Hi. " I say to him.

"Genn I'm so sorry. I dont know what came over me. And I..." he tries.

"Its fine." I say, not meaning that I forgave him. Just begging him not to speak to me right now. As if yesterday he did not beat up like I'm one of the guys he fought with back in college.

"Are you going somewhere?" He asks.

"Yes, my parent's cemetery. It's been a while." I tell him. His face drops.

"Genn I'm really sorry, I know it's hard for you to trust me but I am. You can use my car if you want. Just please... forgive me baby. You know I love you." He begs.

I stare at him. Silently begging him to stop talking. I pick up the keys from the table and I walk outside.

"Bye!" Ethan waves back as we leave the house.

I get into the car and begin the hour drive to West Virginia.

I have no stinking idea what I'm going to say when I get there but Hey? I've got to try.

I park the car near the familiar house.  Taking multiple breaths before even stopping the engine. I stop the engine.

I havent been here since I was four months pregnant.  The Blacks dont know Ethan. So does he.

I take out the suitcase from the trunk, and then take my time to unwrap Ethan from the carseat.

I walk up to the doorway and I knock. I wait, this time it's different.

It doesnt feel like all the peppy times I'd come here. Excited to see my bestfriend and hopefully sneak a meeting with her brother. No not at all.

Blue eyes open the door.

"Gemima." She says, tears filling her eyes. Ethan lays his head on my chest and his hair falls onto his face.

"Alice." I say into her embrace. She cries in my arms.

"Come in, come in." She says.

The house is quiet. Too quiet. She notices that I see that, which is why she says.

"The little ones went to Disney world with Mr Black yesterday. They're coming back tomorrow " she says while wipping her eyes.

She looks at Ethan and I see emotion filling her eyes. Emotion I never expected. Love.

"Can I hold him?" She asks. I nod. She takes the little boy from my arms and she holds him.

"Mama!" Ethan says. Smiling, that is the most beautiful smile I've ever seen in my entire life, bias or not.

"He's beautiful." She says.

I dont waste anytime. I look at her. Trying to be as serious as I can. I have to do this, irregardless of my pride.

"Alice?" I ask. She looks up from the dimpled boy.

"Yes dear?" She asks. Her smile makes me feel at ease.

"Can he stay here? Just for a while. Things back home are–" I'm cut off by my crying.

Alice's eyes fall. She's just as hurt as me.

"Oh dear. You dont have to tell me. Just know that I'm going to support him and love like my own as long as I can." She says.

"Thank you." I say.

"Dont thank me. You're my only friend's child. Maltida would twist in her grave if I didn't help you." She says.

At the mention of my mother's name, I feel the tears coming back down.

"I know you're strong my girl. What ever it is you're going through. I want you to know that you can get through it." She tells me. Hugging my body closely to her own.

"Stay for dinner?" She asks.

I help her prepare dinner. Soon the older kids come back home.

"Oh my word Gemma!" Allyson says embracing me. Shes pregnant. And is wearing a wedding band.

I wasnt invited or was I that distant?

"Ally." I say. Hugging her.

"Oh, Colt! Come see Gemma. And what's you name sir?" She asks my son who's holding onto my leg.

"Efan." My son says. His tiny voice shift my heart in ways one can never imagine.

"Aww! you're so cute Ethan." She says. Playing with his cheeks. I want to tell her that he doesnt like it when we do that. But he seems to be okay with it. Unless it's because he's around new people.

Colt walks in. He has a light stubble under his chin and looks older.

"Gemma." He says returning the one sided hug I send him.

"Alright enough chit chat. Let's get to dinner." Alice says. I gladly follow her.

Avoiding to have to talk about myself to anyone. I'm scared for my life. The person I love most, is a danger to myself and my son. I had to hide him.

I cant let what happened yesterday happen again. Never, not in a million years.

He deserves a good home. And the Black's are a good home.