Shattered

Christmas

Gemima

It's been two months, two months since I found out that I am pregnant by Nathan. Two months since I told him that I dont want to be with him when all I wanted was to kiss his lips off.

I had to think of him. I had to consider how much I've put him through. If it wasn't for me, alot of things that are happening in his life wouldnt be happening.

Ethan decided that he wants to live with Nathan. I visit from time to time but its strictly once a week. And I fetch him from school everyday.

Things have been quiet awkward between Nathan and I.  I mean I expect it since I hurt him.

But I did it for him, its only a matter of time before he moves on to his soulmate.

He deserves happiness bot constant problems.

I love him though.

It's not something that can easily die. I love him for his efforts and everything else. From the way he loves my son like his own to the way he still treats me with kindness and respect.

I love him.

"Are you okay?" Charlotte asks.

Her reaction when I told her that Nathan and I are expecting a baby, is priceless to this day.

"I'm fine. " I tell her. She smiles and nods.

"What are you reading?" She asks scooting over to me on the couch.

"Only Time Will Tell by Jeffrey Archer. I'm almost done with it."

"That's nice." She says.

I feel her eyes on me as I continue to read.

"The family is celebrating Christmas today." She says.

Wait for it.

"You should come." She says.

"There it is."

"No listen Gemma. I understand that you and my brother have decided not to be together even though you're crazy in love with each other, but you guys are having a child together. I dont think you understand that.

That means that Nathan will forever be a part of your life whether you like it or not. And you're going to participate in alot of these kinds of stuff for the sake of your child.

I recommend that you two at least try to be friends. For the sake of the baby. " she says matter of factly.

"It starts at two." She says. Leaving the house. I'm guessing Tyler is here.

What shes saying really does make sense. So I'm going to go, for the sake of my children. I will be brave.

It's one PM right now, so I begin by pressing one of my favourite maternity dresses. The bump is a bit visible due to the fact that I had a flat stomach after Ethans birth.

I slide into the shower and after the relaxing shower, I wear the dress and flats. I put a hair band to control my curls and I'm out.

The drive down the familiar road is extremely anxious. I find myself wiping my sweaty hands over the dress.

Finally the house comes to view. The moment I park by the drive way, I am taking deep and relaxing breathes.

I walk up to the front door and I knock.

The door opens to reveal my favourite hazel eyes. My knees weaken and my hands become sweaty.

"H-Hi." I greet.

He smiles. His smile buckles my knees up.

"I didnt expect you to actually come." He says.

We stand staring at each other. His smile grows wider when his eyes land on my belly.

He gives me an embrace that has my intestines rearranging themselves.

"You look absolutely stunning." He compliments the white loose dress.

"Thank you. Can I come in?" I ask smiling.

Here I was thinking that talking to him was going to be awkward.

"Of course you can. So Ari tells me that you quit working for her. What do you do now?" He asks leading me to the back yard.

"I'm a designer. I mean I still work for your company do I not?" I ask chuckling.

"Of course. I'm glad you're finally following your dreams. This way." He leads.

He leads me to about 10 feet high sliders that have his entire back wall open.

"Gemima?" Mrs Hart calls and everyone turns to me.

Cheers sound as the look at the hand that is on the small of my back.

I look up to Nathan, hoping that he isnt looking so that I can use him as my safe haven because he is my solace. But when I look up, I find him already staring.

Mrs Hart is first to embrace me and compliment my "glow". The rest follow, and I'm surprised to see Janice still here.

Everytime I come over, everybody is not home.

I begin mingling with everyone. Until Elizabeth pulls me to the side to chat .

"Pregnancy looks amazing on you." She says smiling at me.

"Thank you Liz, how's Jaz?" I ask smiling .

"Oh, shes just the sweetest. She and her dad went to see her grandmother. I will be joining them tomorrow." She says smiling.

"That's so cute. So you and Usher and together again?" I ask. She smiles

"Yes, we're actually engaged." She says showing me the large diamond ring.

I smile and congratulate her. We end up talking about mindless things before she speaks up again.

"You know, you should stop what you're doing because it isnt working. You love Nathan, be with him." She says.

"I dont know what you're talking about." I tell her.

What does she want me to do? Tell him I love him and then hope that he miraculously hasn't moved on yet? Come on I'm smarter than that.

"You do. Do you know why I came back here?" She asks.

"Because you were still in love with Nathan?" I ask.

"No, I came back because I was scared to be with Usher.  I was scared that he would loose more people because of me. I didnt want that. So I came back here and tried to convince myself that I'm still inlove with Nathan but I wasnt. I'm not.

I love Usher and you love Nathan. Stop doing this because it isnt working. Be with him. Maybe he'll stop moping around." She offers.

Before I can answer, Nathan's voice rings.

"Look whose here champ."

Followed by the angelic sound of my son's voice.

"Mommy!" He yells. Running towards me and embracing me with a long hug.

The rest of the day is spent eating and just conversing around.

I announce that I'm leaving early when Nathan is in the house so that he doesnt try to convince me to stay.

To my surprise Charlotte doesn't protest, maybe she is just pleased that I came in the first place.

"Bye." I wave at everyone before heading for the door. Once everyone is out of sight and I am in the ball room alone. I hear a voice.

"Gem,hold on." He says.

I pray he doesnt beg me to be with him. Please don't.

"I knew youd leave early or that you wouldnt come but I made you this . Open it when you're relaxed . And um, it means a lot to me that you came." He says handing me a white envelope .

I nod.

He kisses my forehead, leaving tingles on them as I walk outside to my car. That honestly went better than I thought.