Shattered

Dad Was Right

A day ago

"Hes been like this the whole week. Maybe he should go out and have some fun." Janice says.

"I dont know if you know him well enough, but with the time you've been here I expect you to know that he wont do anything without her." Charlotte says.

I stare at the group of women. For the hundredth time, they have been talking about me right infront of me. As if I dont understand the language they are speaking.

I stand with more force than intended which causes all of them to turn to me.

I stomp out of the house.

"Where are you going?" Elizabeth asks.

I run to the car and drive to the police station.

"Hi, hi! Uhh, I'd like to file a missing person's report." I tell the petite lady.

Her blond hair falls freely onto her shoulders. She has brown orbs similar to Gem's , I almost breakdown at the sight of them.

But they dont hold the warmth that homes me.

"Describe the person, the clothes they were last wearing and where the were last seen." She says nonchalantly.

"My-My fiance. She has chocolate brown orbs, a petite nose, two toned lips the top brown and the bottom is pink.

She has bouncy black curls and her skin looks like a chocolate milkshake.

She smells like vanilla and coconuts and she's about five foot tall. And when she speaks, heavens open.

God shes an angel. I love her, find her please." I say.

She is staring at me like I've grown eight other heads.

"Okay sir where was she last seen and what was she wearing?" She asks.

"She was last seen in my bedroom and she was wearing – she was wearing a grey hoodie that looks too big to be on her and leggings." I tell her.

"How long has it been?" She asks.

"Eight days." I tell her and she opens it all down.

"I'll be sure to contact you with updates sir." She says after I write down my details.

The drive home is nerve wracking. I stare blankly at basically everything, driving with her felt like everything was golden.

And that's because she notices every little thing, from how different the sky is today than it was yesterday to the differences in the greens of trees.

And now, its dull.

I dont mean to sound so melodramatic but she brings so much meaning to my life. And I hate that I never got to tell her this.

The following day

I've been in this bedroom for hours now, hoping to fall asleep.

Ethan's sleeping body is in my arms.

We're still flushing the drugs, hes becoming thinner by the day. And it scares me.

The thought of not having Gem is already driving me to complete insanity, I dont want to know what would happen if I loose Ethan too.

I stare at him. Hating that I soon have to wake him from his peace for food.

Hes having body pumps up and down as he breathes. There is a ghost of a smile on his lips. It makes me smile too.

I stare at him. Before I can wake him, my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hello Mr Meyer? This is Hannah Rodriguez from the New York Police Department. I'm calling about the missing person case that you've filed." She says.

I spring up so fast that I get a whiplash.

"Yes?" Is all I manage to say.

"We've found her–" she begins.

I stand so fast that Ethan stirs in his sleep.

"Well then take me to her." I budge in.

"You're not listening mister Meyer. We saw her driving to where we think is Charlotte, with a man." She tells me.

"A man? Jeremy. How did she look? Was she frightened? Is she alive still, fuck what am I saying of course she is. Who was the man?" I ramble.

"She was happy. Smiling even. When we pulled her over, she said she is absolutely okay. So your case is closed Mr Meyer." She says.

"No, Hannah you dont understand.  Jeremy is her ex boyfriend. He is abusive, he kidnapped her. She is not at all happy. You have to take me to her." I plead but my begging falls on deaf ears.

"I'm sorry Mr Meyer, she is not lost. You can visit her. Or even contact her anytime.

This matter needs fixing within your family sir, not with the police. Your fiance is fine sir." She says then ends the calls.

She is fine ?

She is with Jerent and shes fine?

This cant be true, Hannah didnt see properly. That was not my Gem.

"Ethan." I croak.

He doesnt wake. So instead of pushing for him to wake up, I cuddle in with him.

I dont believe this. It is not true, she did not leave me for Jeremy. She did not leave Ethan.  Absolutely not.

She said she loves me. She said it, infront of everyone so I know I'm not crazy.

She said she loves me. And I didnt even say it back.

She was defending me, she was fighting for me and I couldnt just tell her how I felt about her. How I feel about her.

Because I love her. More than life itself. I do.

"Dad?" Ethan calls.

"Hmm?" I ask. He stares at me.

"I love you ." He says and I smile.

"You know that I love you champ. Always." I tell him ruffling his hair.

I carry him to go and grab some food for him.

All the ladies seem to be gone. Even Elizabeth.

"Dad is mom really gone? Did she leave us?" He asks. I shake my head.

"Never.  Gemima would never leave you, she would never do that." I tell him.

"What about you?" He asks.

"I– dont know son. Hey, let me show you something,  grab your legos." I tell him and so he does.

We go up to the sunroom when the lights are twinkling. And we sit. We plah with the toys until he yawns.

Day is yet another thing to leave me. First it was my mother, who left when I couldn't even ride a bike.

Then it was my dad, who left. But in all honesty dad left me before he died.

His depression got worse, and those are the times around when Janice was being abused by Richard. He knew about them, and he still loved her. He was blinded by love. Basically stupid.

All he did was lock himself away. He spent months in his bedroom alone. He even had an arguement with me when I didn't want him to move back to the little house he had built here.

I was alone.

Then he died. At least during his depressive times, I found solace in knowing that he would at least lie to me and say that hes alright. That he wasn't crying.

But when he died, it hit hard. Because then I have no way to see him. To speak to him, to even hear is beautiful lie.

Gem walked out on me now. For Jeremy? For an abusive fuck who didnt even care enough for his own son.

Instead drugged him and left him in my driveway to die of an overdose.

That's what you left me for Gemima?

Guess dad was really right. I should've stayed away from women when I had the chance.

When my heart and everything else was still intact.