Shattered

At Life's Mercy

Two years later.

I walk into my house. Finally breathing after a long day at that Magazine house. Heck I have alot of explaining to do. But first let me feed my son.

"Welcome home Gemmie." Jeremy says. Kissing my temple.

Since he'd lost his job, he'd been trying to be around Ethan as much ad he can. And I could tell that he and our son were bonding alot. Although the two year old could not quite speak, you could see it in his hazel eyes that he loved his father.

"Where's Ethan?" I ask. He smiles at me.

"Mother hood really has changed you. That boy is the first thing you ask about everytime you come home." He chuckles onto the nape of my neck. "He's upstairs sleeping. "

He point to the bedroom unit.

Jeremy and I moved to Manhattan after my pregnancy was revealed.

I remember how I had announced it to the blacks. None of them were happy. But Alyster? He looked like he could burn the house down at any moment then.

I explained to them how Jeremy had gotten  a job with a good firm so we were also moving because of that.

Alice tried to make me stay but failed miserably.  Because my mind was made up. I'm going with Jeremy, come rain. Come shine.

My feet hurt me, I had to look for a job with a Magazine studio after Jeremy lost his job. Alcohol took a toll on him and he turned into an alcoholic. But that was not before the breaking news.

We had tried to go and inform his parents about the pregnancy.  He warned me against it but I thought that my son deserved to at least know his grandparents.

His father literally kicked us out. That's when he told me his story.  His mother was the whore of West Virginia and his father was extremely abusive towards himself and his mother. That's why he always had limps and bruises .

It was never because if boxing. Actually he had said that he'd never boxed a day in his life.

It breaks my heart to today that he went through all of that and all alone. He didnt deserve that. Nobody does.

It somehow affected him mentally and now he lost his job.  Because I had to quit school and nurse a baby , I dont have the qualifications to go on and be a designer. Which is why I work as a PA for Saucy Trendz and Gossip Magazine's owner Arriane.

"How did it go?" I ask him.

He stares at me, disappointed that I asked that question out of all. But I had to. The money I was making was not enough to the three of us with me as the sole provider.

"What?" He bites out. Hes drunk.  I can tell. Hes only upset when hes drunk.

"Howd it go looking for a job." I ask again. Hoping he wont throw a fit. Ethan is sleeping.

"I didnt go." He says looking down at the catalog he had been reading.

"Why not?" I ask. Feeling disappointed. "Jeremy, you know how hard it is for me to work hard for the three of us. I cant do it anymore. At some point I'm going to need your help. All are age mates are doing it." I said.

"Im trying." Is all he says nonchalantly.

That somehow annoys me.

"Well it's not enough! Try harder! Do better!" I yell at me.

"Lower your voice." He instructs . I look at him, feeling patronized.

"You can not tell me to lower my voice! You've lost authority in this house, I have it! I am the head! I am the one that supports us so I'm the head!" I yell. Realizing that I just broke his ego.

Wham!

I feel his hand connect hard against my face. He just slapped me. My body flies to the other side of the room due to the strength of the slap.

I look at him.

"You slapped me?" I ask. Tears brimming my eyes.

"Gemmie, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.  It was a mistake." He tries.

"You slapped me." Is all I can say. I too am still marveling at what just happened. He just... slapped me? That us not possible. Hes possessed.

I walk up the stairs still marvelling at the fact that Jeremy just slapped me.

I sit in my son's room and I stare at him.  He looks alot like Jeremy. But more like me.

I smile to myself.  He feels like home.

Relocating to a new city was not easy. But his presence brought more joy and excitement.

The anticipation of breeding a new life was just so exciting and now? Holding Ethan in my hands, I'm proud. And I will work day in and day out just to secure a good future for my son.

"Baby I'm sorry." Jeremy says from the doorway.

"Just leave it alone Jeremy" I sigh. He did it, he boiled enough to actually lay an arm on me. And now he want me to forgive him. What kind of drug does he think I'm on.

It's not easy to trust and forgive someone who just hurts you that easily.

"I'm really sorry Genn. I didnt mean it. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you for it." He begs. I can tell how broken he is.

His father beat up his mother, and he was afraid to be just like his father. But if he truly was, he'd have to cut off the alcohol. It's not helping that he want to change yet he keeps one getting drunk while I work my fingers to the bone trying my hardest to put food on the table for us three.

I kiss Ethan on the forehead and then head to the guest bedroom.

I can feel anger again.

"Gemima if you sleep in there, then never come back to my room again." He says.

"That's fine with me." I say for the first time. His hand balls into fists and he stares at me.

"I'm sorry baby." He tries again.

"Goodnight.  Please keep a look out for Ethan if I dont wake up." I simply tell him.

Then I lock myself in a safe haven where I cry myself to sleep.