Shattered

Letters To My Heart

I find myself sitting on my recliner infront of the fireplace. Absorbing all the heat. Yesterday I spent alot of time outside, I just need to heat myself today.

My mind drifts to the letter. Nathan gave me an envelope with a letter in it. I havent read it yet.

I pad my feet to the purse where I put it in. Charlotte said she's staying with the family. So I have enough time alone.

I open the note to find his neat handwriting which has me smiling. I've never gotten a hand written letter from anyone before. I open the neat folds.

Dear Gem

Hi. I dont know what I'm doing right now, I dont know if it's going to annoy you or make you happy but I want you to know my feelings. Raw, and explicitly.

When I first saw you at the Gala, I thought "wow, that it the beautiful diamond I've ever seen." I didnt know how to approach you, so instead I watched you sigh and stare at the moon.

When I protected you that night, it was not fake at all. My heart pulled me to do it, and oh my when I heard you speak, it felt like the angels were humming.

I knew that the only reason God gave me ears was to hear you speak.

You introduced me to Ethan and I instantly loved that little man. I looked at you look at him and that taught me love.

The thought of kids never crossed my mind. But when I met our son, man I never knew I was capable of that kind of love.

Everything that has anything to do with you makes me smile. It makes me happy.

I took care of you while you were in trauma.  And in all God fearing honesty, that's when I knew that I love you. When I saw the dullness in your eyes, I wanted nothing more than to bring the life back.

You've been in my life for only ten months. I've never laughed and had as much fun in my entire life than I have these past ten months.

You told me that you've failed in life, that you aren't beautiful. That you look in the mirror and you dont find that beauty that I say you have.

That's because you only see yourself in the mirror for those few seconds. While I see you whenever Ethan says or does something cute.

I see you when you see a puppy. I see you when I've cooked and you're tired from work. I see you when you admire the moon. And I see you when you think about your parents. And I think that you're gorgeous.

I watched you heal, I watched you conquer and I watched you boss up. And I want you to know that I'm proud of you.

You dont know how much I appreciate the little things that you do for me. You have no idea.

You blame yourself for everything that's happened in my life in the past ten months. You are only looking at the negatives but what about the positives?