butterflies 🦋

happiness is a stranger

happiness is a stranger
and i don't let strangers in
so i stuck with something familiar
even if it almost killed me

empty and numb and stressed
and just downright miserable
if i could feel more of that
then at least i feel at all

with wide open arms
and a sense of comfort
Depression invited herself in
and lives rent free in my head

Anxiety decided to stop by
for a weekend visit
but years have passed now
and she's still around

day after day
week after week
year after year
it all got worse

they control every move
every word every thought
worry about every little detail
and second guess everything

and question my friends' intentions
real or fake
do they even like me?
do they want me around?

the warmth of their familiarity
keeps them around
more years are added to my guests' lease
no matter how much it hurt

i couldn't let them go
but i needed to; I wanted to
being sad wasn't what i wanted
was it?

i want to be happy
and for things to change
and for my friends to see me as equal
and not just a throwaway

the stress was hard to rid of
but eventually it did
it left the same time
all my fake friends did

Happiness is a stranger
but Depression and Anxiety are old friends
they made themselves at home
and tuck me to bed every night