Always Romira

Chapter - 44

Romero
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The drive from Malina's office to our next destination is filled with tension and not all of them are mine. I can feel it rolling of Ray's body and surrounding us.

Son of bitch!

I have no idea what Malina could have said in that two minutes I was absent to make Ray jumpy like she is. Whatever has happened it had to be in during those few moments because everything before that was going okay, hell it was good even but when I returned after taking Dante's call she forced a smile.

A fake smile, dammit!

I always have Ray's real.

Always.

That smile was enough of a heavy gut punch. It travelled all the way to my heart, squeezing it painfully.

I'm going to kill Malina. I don't care what her reason might have been she shouldn't have said anything to trouble Ray like this. She signed an NDA, damn it!

In the back of my mind, around somewhere my tiny conscience live, I'm aware my thoughts are flooding with hypocrisy sinse I took Ray there myself and hence given her the liberty to know anything, I still can't find in myself to give a shit about it.

The only thing keeps reiterating is that Ray is distress which in turn makes me murderous.

I can feel my breath going hard and difficult as I sneak a look to her profile.

I know her and I know she is trying to keep herself relaxed, in fact she is trying so fucking hard that I can feel it on my skin. She is fidgeting her fingers anxiously to keep them steady while avoiding my eyes as she pretends to look interested in backward moving scenery.

I fight back the growl of frustration and focus on driving. I fucking knew I shouldn't have brought her here. I'm too fucked up in the head. My mind doesn't work right, hell it's genetic and my dead father is a proof and therein lies my biggest fucking fear.

What if I became my father?

I remember the look on my mother's face the night she left. She looked desperate to leave, so desperate that even her love for her kid couldn't keep her. Her dress was torn and she looked disheveled, my young mind couldn't have understood the reason but I do now. I understand something must have terrible happened for her to leave like that.

What I never understood why she didn't come for her kid after her husband died. She didn't contact or asked for her child again until six years ago, whatever the fuck could have happened for her sudden change is something I don't care. She wasn't there when that kid needed her and now he is long dead.

That seven year old died on the day of his father's funeral when he was forced to stop crying and finally accept that his mother is not coming for him.

That she left him.

I know my father loved her, no he was obsessed with her. He was so jealous  that any time my mother's attention warded off to other men, he would become unstable. He was so damn obsessive about everything related to her.

And I'm not a fucking fool to not realise my wrecked train is going the same way. I am jealous and possessive, I'm merciless about it. I don't give a shit what others believe.

She is mine.

And I'm hers, completely, unconditionally and infinitely.

But every time my mother's face appears behind my closed lids, I shudder. I'll die if something like that happens to Ray because of me.