Love Letter

Lynne:

I had left for NYC the night I had found out about Ian.

I had talked Luke into driving me to the bus station. It was late, and I had to find a sober person. Luke was the only person I could find.

"Lynne... the next bus does not come until five in the morning. You still have three hours," he says, looking at me like I am crazy.

"That's okay," I say, settling into the very uncomfortable bench. He sat and waited till five with me, neither of us saying a word the whole time.

"Thanks," I say when they are boarding for my bus. Stepping onto the bus, there were plenty of empty seats, and I was grateful I would have two total seats to myself.

The twins said they would be coming within the next few days; they just had to pack up. They did not understand why I just did not wait for them to return. I used the excuse that I had to get my apartment packed up for the move. Unlike me, they would bring their vehicles to New York, paying for the high parking fees. But it would help move me, so I wouldn't complain.

I felt empty, not feeling much of anything. I had thought I knew Ian, but I really didn't. Everything I knew about him was erased, and all that was left was that he was writing a book about me and used all the information he had learned about me in his rough draft.

Something about his writing was so familiar that I couldn't put my finger on it. It was as if I had read his books a million times, but I could not figure out why it seemed so familiar.

The whole next month, I throw myself into sitting up interviews with any publishing firm that would take a meeting with me. I also found myself picking up after Fred, which was almost a part-time job. I was always close to Fred throughout school, more so than Zach but I was shocked to see how messy he was. Francine hid his dirtiness more than I had known.

I woke with Zach getting on Fred for not putting his dishes away or picking up his dirty clothes that were always spread out across the apartment. Everything besides the cleanliness of Fred was going well between the three of us. Because I had yet to land a job, I had found the role of making supper for the twins. They appreciated this, and it gave me something to do nightly instead of feeling like a bum. I had never realized how alone I had been before I had gone back home for the holidays. Before I went back, I was happy being by myself at night. I had a roommate the whole time I went to school, but we barely talked, and we existed around one another. Now I saw myself for what I really was: antisocial, and I found myself not liking it.

"What is going on now?" I ask, stepping out in my pajamas and cringing since the boys were already dressed and ready for work. They had not taken the anchor spot seat over completely. The current sports anchor was retiring at the end of the month, and the twins would be filling in after him for it. The twins' coworkers were talking sounded like the sports anchor retirement was long overdue. The station needed change, and that significant change was the twins. They had already started the twins by doing a blog on sports on their web page. The twin's luck was very impressive, but I had a feeling it was due to how well they did in high school. I will never know why the twins did not go on to play college sports.

"Nothing is going on," Zach says to me, puffing. "Nothing is going on because Fred refuses to pick up after himself. It's always you or me picking up after him, and I am getting real sick of it. I don't feel like I should have to pick up his dishes every morning or have to step around his nasty clothes," Zach says, shooting daggers at Fred.

Fred, always the less serious of the two, doesn't say anything and just goes on about the kitchen making cereal as if Zach is not mad at him at all. "Okay," I say, not knowing why I even stepped out of my room to deal with this. "Fred, can you just say you are going to work on picking up after yourself?" I say. I know it had been hard on him since he had been so used to Francine, but Fred and Zach had lived together two years away from home already, and I was shocked to find them still fighting over minor things.

"Yes, I will," Fred says, pouring milk into his bowl. "Oh, by the way, don't forget that Kelly is coming by tonight." Shoot. I had forgotten that she would be coming over tonight. How did she get off of work so much? I knew New York was far enough from home that I wouldn't have random drop-ins, but it wasn't far enough where it stopped my sisters from making minor appearances. Two weeks ago, it was Lisa who had stopped in. She was still on cloud nine from the engagement, and the whole night she was in town talked about all the plans she had to do. Of course, I would be a bridesmaid in her wedding and would need to get fitted, and she made plans to come back to pick her dress out in New York. I was numb to the whole thing saying yes and okay when I was needed to. She pressed the Ian subject just a few times, and when I wouldn't say anything, she moved on. After discovering what Ian did, I didn't have to tell Lisa the whole story for her to jump on the "I hate Ian" bandwagon. She had my back without having to know the details. Lisa was okay with that, but Kelly would not be okay with this. She would want to pry and find out everything. She had been so happy when she found out we were dating that she was pissed when I left with no warning that night and didn't tell her what had happened. Lisa must have given her what little information she had.