Love Letter

Lynne:

He loves me.

The last time anyone had uttered the words I love you was when I had said goodnight to my dad for the last time. That was the night before he died. When Ian had seen the scar, the hurt that crossed over his eyes showed how much he cared for me. I had stayed awake most of the night wondering if he would go screaming for the following day after he found out how messed up I really was. I had assumed he had read the whole journal. He never made it to the part where I was in a rehabilitation center for two full months, from May to July. As soon as I got back, I packed up my things and headed to New York City two months before classes started. I don't know if it was the city itself that made me feel alive or the fact that I was out from underneath my bearing mother. None of my siblings knew why I had left two months early for school.

Victor was the one to check up on me randomly. I knew that he cared about me. He was also the one to find me in my bathroom with blood all around me. Victor had never been in my room before, and I had never asked him what had made him think something was wrong. He stayed a week after I had been in NYC for a week and helped me find the apartment I had stayed in for the last three years. Victor was a rock for me when I needed someone the most. He was a good guy, and how my mother ended up finding two in her life to love her – I will never know. I didn't think about the scar because it made me feel like I was more like my mother than I would ever admit. Until last night, I realized how upset I was with my mother. If Ian had finished the journal – I believed he would add my mother into the novel showing the dark side of Meredith Bettendorf.

"Are you okay?" Ian asked for the third time since leaving his apartment and heading to mine.

"Yes," I said, reassuring him. I didn't know if he kept asking if I was okay because of what he had learned or if he was asking I was okay since we were finally on common ground.

He loves me – the whole messed up package and all.

Stepping into the apartment, I could see that a figure was still sprawled out on the couch and knew that Luke had not left yet. The last few weeks made me wonder what I had ever seen in him. I knew that reading how Ian saw him in his eyes had a considerable part to play in this. Luke had so many years to tell me that he liked me or had feelings for me, and he waited about five years too late as far as I'm concerned. It was an opportunity he had missed in life, and he was going to have to get over that.

Fred and Zach were at the kitchen table and looked up when we walked in. Mandy walked out of Zach's room. I was going to have to ask him if it was serious with her or just friends with benefits for him. The twins had a lot of girls that came in and out of their life just like Lisa used to be like. I needed to call Lisa and see how the wedding plans had been going. I really needed to get used to knowing what my siblings were doing.

"Hey Lynne," Mandy said in one of my brother's white button-up dress shirts with her pink bra showing through from below it.

"Hey Mandy," I said, and I could tell she had a billion questions to ask me about Ian being with me. If Mandy looked like the walk of shame, then I had to look like it double since I was wearing Ian's pajama pants and t-shirt. I really shouldn't have been judging her even though I knew nothing like that happened between Ian and me; yet...

Fred pulls me off to the side out of Ian's reach, so he leaves his hand hanging at his side without my hand to hold. "Could you call or text when you go off... We were kind of worried... Mandy had spotted Johnny outside, and she had no clue where you went," he says, acting as a protective father. I wanted to snap back that there were plenty of times I didn't know what he or Zach were doing till God knows what time in the morning, but I knew the difference between them and me as I was a girl, not to mention Zach and Fred with their bulgy muscles didn't really scream mug or attack me.

"Fred, thank you for worrying about me – I will call or text you next time I disappear and do not let Mandy know what I am doing," I say, and he relaxes at this. "As long as you start picking up your clothes in the living room," I shudder.

"Those are not mine," he says, glaring into the living room with Luke's sleeping figure on it. "Could you maybe talk to him about leaving?" Fred asks next.

"Oh no... You guys told him it was okay to stay... Have fun with that," I say.

Ian walking up behind me says, "you know I could talk to him about leaving."

"You heard all that?" I ask

"Yes, you guys were standing a foot away from me – not even whispering. I'm sure if Luke was awake, he would have heard the whole conversation. But if you need to, I'm sure I could tell him to leave," he says, smiling at me.

"I think the twins can handle him," I say. "Are we working on the novel today?" I ask.

"I was thinking maybe we skip it today, go take New York City in together. I have been waiting for this day for nearly six months," he says, kissing me on the nose.

"You are too happy today," I say, leaving him sitting on my bed while I showered.