Love Letter

Lynne:

I had blurted again without thinking around him. I had done better the night before, but I had two little nephews to be perfect distractions for that. That same energy was back, and it was popping, and I swear I could feel it wrapping around my body. Just staring at him after telling him he was confusing and complicated me. I thought he would pull me into a kiss or anything, but instead, he diverted it all together.

"How about we head back to my cabin, pick up a pizza, and watch movies there?" he asks after a brief moment of looking me in the eyes. I agree happily, knowing that the conversation had passed and that I had four days before I would have some safe distance between the two of us so I could think this entire thing out. Maybe he would end up being a holiday fling, just like when the girls had summer flings. But would I have to sleep with him for it to be an official fling? I took it very seriously, and when it came time, the person was always wrong. I would find excuses like the person had dirt under his nails, even though that made sense with Steve since he was a construction worker. Or like Parker, who I was the closest to finally giving in, but his glasses were crooked, meaning it was a no-go. When I say I was close to making that decision, it was usually my thinking if I could or not – I decided most of this on a second date and quit answering the phone calls and texts. It was easier not to get invested when it would not work out. They were not the ones.

But was Ian the one? I had spent the most time around him being a love interest, and I had found nothing wrong with him. I scrutinized everything he did. But I came up short. He was annoying from time to time, but I found that charming and cute, and it drove me crazy that I found this charming. What did not make sense to me was why it felt like I had known him for a lifetime instead of a few weeks. I didn't trust it. I was comfortable around him, and that scared me the most.

"You have been quiet," Ian said after getting back in the car from picking up the pizza.

"I've been tired," I say and add, "I have had this energetic person that I have had to deal with the last week or so."

"Oh yeah, what is he like?" he asks.

"To explain to him it would take all night," I shoot back.

"He must be pretty interesting and perfect if it would take that long," he says back, turning up the radio wanting the last word. He was right – he was more interesting than he would ever know.

The following two days cooped up with Ian watching our favorites from Disney to classical movies, flew by. I had learned that we were both Casablanca fans even if he would not admit it – he knew the crucial lines to the most significant scenes that most guys would not be able to remember. Meaning he had watched it more than a few handfuls of time.

"You know the lines to "Remember the Titans" and are judging me for knowing Casablanca lines," Ian had said while we watched Remember the Titans.

"Hey, I have twin brothers that were in love with football – they watched this for an entire spring break," I said.

"What no books to keep you entertained during that time?"

"Ha, I did not just read books all the time. I had other interests – like.... watching Remember the Titans to the point where I knew every line to it. It's a true story, at least!" I protested back. A lot of the conversations we had stayed on track with these. We had not brought up anything serious and never talked about why he was so confusing. It was confusing because I never had feelings like this even close. It was complicated because what would it be like when we got back to the real world where he was a publisher, and I was just looking for a job. Instead of thinking about these questions when he was near me, I just enjoyed the movies and kept my mind distracted. I stayed away from any romance novels that filled my brain with junk.

We were at my house in the living room when Kelly walked in.

"Hey Ian – nice to see you again," Kelly said, spying him next to me on the couch. She made it pretty apparent that none of my family members had seen me, dating-ish anyone. Every time she saw us together, her face brightened up, and you would think she won the lottery.

"Hey Kelly," he said back, pulling his eyes away from the TV screen.

"So has Lynne invited you to our New Years' Eve Party?" she asked, all sweet and innocent, and I knew what she was doing.

"I didn't know you still did that," I say back dryly, keeping my eyes focused on the TV.