Love Letter

Ian:

The Bettendorf's did not celebrate Christmas, but they did celebrate New Year's Eve every year.

"Of course we celebrate it – it is saying goodbye to one crappy year and hopefully celebrating bringing in a better one," Kelly said when I had asked why New Year's Eve was celebrated here. Her answer should not have surprised me since they said they celebrated another year down – another year passed, and they had made it.

"Sure, I can make it. Not like I have anything better to do," I say, and Kelly has everything that she came for and leaves us to sit and watch All Dogs go to Heaven. Lynne's favorite cartoon movie – from what I knew, she never had any animals, so it was an interesting favorite. I was just glad for all the distractions – if she was confused, I was spinning with all the thoughts of her floating around in my head. Spending every waking moment I could with her did not help the situation, but I wanted to see her as much as I could before she went back to the city. I had a feeling that I would be going back to the town a lot sooner than I had planned. I was twenty-six years old but am acting like a smitten teenage boy for the first time.

After Kelly's appearance, Lynne focuses on the movie – eyes locked on, to be exact. Toward the end of the film, I can see she is wiping tears away from her eyes, and I know she is hoping I do not notice.

"All Dogs go to Heaven you cry over?" I ask, trying not to laugh at this.

"Yes," she says back while I stand and stretch my legs out.

"Do you want to take a break? Get some food?" I ask, hoping she says she wants to eat. I was starving.

"We could do snack age and watch the next one," she says back, standing up. "I'll grab the snacks if you want to put your next pick in."

I was really hoping for a break. I sit down as Lynne rounds the corner with a tray full of goodies. "I may have done some snack shopping," Lynne shrugs, sitting down next to me. I wanted to ask if it was Francine who actually went shopping. Lynne had not been away from me much, only when we slept, and I had left a few nights at four in the morning and then came back around noon. Like I said, I was acting like a teenage boy. I could not remember the last time I had stayed up past one. I had a strict routine in the city with working out and breaking the barrier for my writing.

Popcorn was on the tray, peanut M&MS, licorice, pop for me, and water for Lynne. Lynne only drinks water; this was one of the things I had learned about her by just hanging around her as much as I did. There were other things that I had learned from Lynne that I did not have to ask; I just knew. She had quirks just like anyone else, and I enjoyed finding out about her as much as I could. I told myself it was for the novel's purpose, but I knew there was much more to it.

The twins came puffing in from doing something outside before I could push play.

"Hey, love birds – I know you have had the TV all day, so do you care if we watch the game?" one of the twins asks.

"Sure," Lynne says, standing up and picking up the tray, not even fazed by him calling us love birds. I look at her confused, and she looks at me "grab the movie; we can watch it up in my room."

I stand getting the movie but am pretty confused since I had never seen a TV in Lynne's room.

"Okay," Lynne says nervously, "lay down on the bed" I do as I am told, expecting her to blindfold me or something. Instead, she stands on the bed next to me after I lay down. She starts to grab the picture frame off of the wall, but rather, as she pulls the frame away, a TV appears being folded out so you can watch it while you are lying in bed. It was a hideaway TV. So she did not just sit in her room all day reading; she snuck TV in from time to time.

"Handy," I say, even though all I am thinking about is lying next to Lynne for the next two hours. I sit up, handing her the DVD, hoping she will not look at it. She does not as she pops it on the side of the TV, loading it. She walks over, shuts the lights off, and sits up in bed so she can eat some of the licorice on the tray.

"Do you want anything?" she asks. I sit up and tip the TV so we can watch it while sitting up against the wall next to each other. I took the pop off of the table and took a sip of it before the movie started; my mouth was parched. Nerves... The Lions Gate logo pops up, and I wait for the movie to begin.

I watch Lynne's face wondering when she will realize what movie I had put in. "The Last Dream," Lynne whispers after the first scene is done. We sit motionlessly after she says this, neither of us eating or drinking, just watching. Watching my novel play out as a movie. This was the only novel of mine that I could stand. The characters were cast perfectly; I had helped pick them – one-way camera, they were almost perfectly cast, and the shooting was the best by far. That was the downside to River Cannon. I knew I would have been more hands-on if I did not hide behind a pen name. The lines were not cheesy, and they stuck with a lot of the lines from my book. Whether those lines were cheesy or not, I never would know staying in denial one way or the other. It was the closest to any of my novels, and after this, they strayed from it – one even had the line spider monkey in it. Spider Monkey? After that one, I had a hard time staying with Ian's name and not showing my face as Cannon River. That was the last movie I had allowed. I was debating if I wanted another one of my novels crucified on the big screen.

Lynne moves slowly, reaching for the tissues off of her side table. We were getting to the scene where Greta told Mark that she had cancer and that nothing could be done. Tears are spilling down her face, and she is brushing them away, not caring if I see or not this time. Lynne turns and looks at me before the last scene where Greta dies in Mark's arm. The screen goes dark, and Lynne is just staring at me, and I give in to what we both want. I take her face in my hands, and I kiss her fiercely; I kiss her like I had never before, this time not being as gentle, and she is matching my pace exactly. Grasping onto what moments, not wanting to miss any of it, my moments with her were fleeting. While kissing – Lynne has made her way on top of me and is straddling me. "Hi," she says, taking a breath looking down at me. Her legs were trapping me in, along with her hands wrapped around each of my wrists. She was the one acting like I would run away from her when in the end, I knew that it would be her running away from me.

"Hi," I say back, removing my right arm from her grasp and brushing some hair out of her eyes, and tucking it behind her ear. She stays locked around me like a cage for a few minutes and then climbs off of me, sitting next to me on the bed again, acting like the scene before had never happened.

"Maybe we should get out and get real food?" she says, getting ready to stand and leave me behind. I have other plans – I swoop her back down on top of me. As she is falling, she giggles; her laughter is something I will miss.