Love Letter

Lynne:

When I got home from the lunch date with Ian, I let it slip to Frank that I had a date with him. "What?" He says, looking up at me. He was still in the same spot I had left him that morning. I had run six miles on the way home, taking the long way so I wouldn't have to run by Luke's house and have another bump in. I was sure if I ran into him, it would lead to him coming up to the house to "hang out." I was happy to see him, but my mind was occupied...

"What?" I said back, taking on the defense.

"You on a date?" he says as he bursts into laughter, calling out for Zach. I brush past the couch and get up to my room before the two of them can start picking on me together. They were nice when it came to my looks, but they had not mature yet when it came to guys.  

It was times like these that I wished I had a best friend or at least a girlfriend that I could share my nervousness. I had been having enough confidence when I was around Ian, but having it be a date setting would be more nerve-wracking than what I knew I was ready for.

What I didn't understand was why he was so interested in me.

Was it because he spilled coffee on me and still felt bad... Or was it because it was a great first story to tell people how we met. Did guys even think like that? I'm sure they didn't; it was just my Cannon Rivers books getting inside my head. It was stupid to read these books with their misguiding view on reality.

Of course, no guys ever cared like that; the thing that most guys cared about was how soon they could get you into bed. It would take women years to find a guy that was anywhere close to the men wrote about in Cannon Rivers's books. Even if they came close to finding one like the one in his books... there would be some flaw or some hidden agenda. So what it really came down to was; me being stupid and reading books written by the one and only Cannon Rivers. All he did was set my bar for romance higher and higher, making it unfair to any men I would ever date. I walk over, pick up the book off my end table and chuck it as hard as I can into the corner of my room.

I was so over Cannon Rivers. 

I barely sleep too nervous playing different scenarios of our date in my head. Would we have dinner and it be casual. I nixed that one since the movie theater was closed on Christmas Eve since it was family-owned. I didn't know of many restaurants in town being open, so we would have to drive half an hour to the next biggest city.

Half an hour in the car with him... I would blurt out more than I would want him to know. I tried to leave him guessing instead of learning how screwed up my head really was. It wasn't just killing neighbors' dogs I joked about; I had a dark and sick humor. He would run away if he really knew what I was thinking about everything and everyone. Or because of what I had done my senior year...

I push the dark thoughts away as Kelly walks into my room without knocking. "I hear you have a date?" she asks, raising her eyebrows like this is unbelievable news.

"Yes," I say, expecting her to give me the same treatment that Frank had shown me the day before.

"About time," she puffs out like it is a miracle.

"I have been on plenty of dates before" I roll my eyes at her and hope my lying over the years has improved.

"Yes, that may be true, but you never texted me about them or let me know they were happening, so they do not exist in my world. But this one does since I am here, and I obviously know about it." She says all this followed with a squeal. If it was a squeal of enjoyment, it sounded like a pig being brought to its slaughter. And of course, since Lisa's room is not too far down the hall, she hears and comes in.

"What is all the commotion about?" Lisa asks.

"Does no one stay in the living room? Why is everyone in their bedrooms during the middle of the day?" I ask, instantly annoyed that I told Frank. Of course, he would run and tell Kelly – it was gossip after all. With a family of six, having gossip was a hot commodity.