Love Letter

Ian:

The date could not be going better than I could have hoped. Even with Christmas and the Holidays being a sore topic in her life, I feel like she is having genuine fun with me despite how she feels about them. As we pull up to her house for the final part of our date, I talk about having a second and third date. I know by her response she is blushing or trying to cover it as best as she can. It came out of my mouth before I could think, and after I had said it, I was glad, so she knew how I felt. I wasn't just saying it to be charming; I was saying it because it was true. I wanted to have many more dates with her.

I help her out of the car and have her stand at the trunk. I open the truck and grab the two bins I had stored there earlier. I stack both of them on top of each other and ask her to shut the trunk. I see Kevin's car on the side of the driveway and smile, knowing that my timing is perfect. Lynne opens the front door for me. I sit the bins down for her and walk her into the living room where the tree is already set up with the help of the guys from the tree nursery – Kevin, Kelly, and Amanda. However, I am surprised to see the whole family standing around staring at it.

I take the gloves, scarf, and hat off of Lynne and sit them next by the door and hang her coat up on the rack. I watch as she walks over and stares at the tree-like if it is the first time she has seen one inside. Even though I know, that is far from the truth... I don't like the feeling I have when I think about her missing out on this every Christmas since her dad's death. I feel someone watching me, and I turn to see Kelly watching me. "Thank you," she says, and I wonder if the tear that slid down her face was real or if I saw things. Kevin and Amanda are standing back watching Lynne's family; I wonder if they seemed like aliens, it was like they didn't know what Christmas tree was.

I looked around inspecting their work: the stockings were hung, the banister leading upstairs had been garlanded, and lights wrapped around it. Stepping into the house, you knew that Christmas was around the corner, and I felt proud that I had brought a little bit of Christmas spirit back into this house. Grabbing the bins, I bring over the ornaments I had bought that day.

"Green and purple?" I believe the sister's name. Lisa says when she looks through the bins at the ornaments. Lynne's eyes flicker to mine, and I know she knows I picked the colors out due to her telling me at the café that her favorite colors were green first and then purple but that it could switch at any time.

"Hold up..." I say, stepping into the circle of the family. "The place looks great, but there need to be two things to decorate this tree. First, we need some Christmas music, and second, where is the egg nog?" I asked as cheerfully as I could, not caring how dorky I sounded. Dorky was fun, and if you asked me, dorky was sometimes sexy. I wanted this to be fun while they decorated the tree.

Fred jumps on the music playing Christmas music off his Pandora radio on his phone – he hooks it up to their surround sound stereo, and "Let it Snow" starts playing through the room. Zach, who had asked confused who would buy eggnog, walked into the kitchen and walked back out with glasses on a tray, two cartons of eggnog, and a bottle of peppermint spiced rum. I look at him, and he says, "this is a grown-up Christmas" I laugh, feeling completely comfortable.

The women start hanging Christmas lights on the tree; even Meredith, Lynne's mom, has joined her family along with Lynne's stepdad. Amanda walks over to the door and passes out Santa hats to each of the guys and elf hats to each woman. The only one who rejects wearing one is Meredith. I guess having her down here helping was good enough. I sat around with the guys as we watched the women decide where the ornaments should go. I nudge Lynne when she sits down next to me. "You are beautiful," I say to her.

"And you have had maybe a little bit too much to drink," Even though I am only slightly buzzed and know that Lynne does not want to admit that she is beautiful. She made a beautiful elf. "I don't know if you will remember this in the morning. But thank you for tonight." She says, looking at me straight in the eyes. Except for this time, she doesn't look to the side or up above her; she just lets her eyes land on mine with no hesitation. "Thank you," she says again, but this time she leans in to kiss me on the cheek. It was just a kiss on my cheek, but my whole body sits straighter from the feel of her lips on my skin.

"You are very welcome, Princess," I whisper in her ear.

"Alright," Amanda sits down next to Lynne, ruining the moment, "enough of the cuddling..." she says, teasing and Lynne blushes leaning closer to Amanda than me.

Lynne, of course, wants to change the conversation and asks her, "you liked the newest Cannon River novel?"

Amanda's eyebrows go up, shocked by her question, and she looks at me. "Remember you said you liked it, or I at least I thought you did?" I say, trying to act like I really couldn't remember her telling me it was my worst one yet.

"It was okay," Amanda says, falling into suit.

"Yeah... It was missing something this time," Lynne says, and I am paying attention now, wanting to know what she really thinks of it and hoping I find out why she had thrown it across the room.

"Right..." Amanda says like a light bulb going off above her head. "Love, right? It was missing the love," she says, laughing.

Lynne sits there thinking... "I do not know... Personally, I thought it was because no one had died this time. It was very depressing compared to his other ones, but no one died... And you are right; there was no love in this book. I'm sure all the housewives burned it after reading it."

"What?" Amanda asks.

"Well, haven't you noticed in every one of his books someone has died," she says, and I have to think about this myself... She starts counting off the seven books of mine that have been published.

"What about the one with the dog... That you were telling me about Amanda," I say, trying to cover. That was the only novel of mine where a character did not die.

"The dog died!" Lynne exclaims.

"Oh, please do not get her going on that book again," Kelly says, sitting down next to Amanda.

"Again?" I ask, laughing.

"Oh yes, she ranted the whole night I had visited her in New York. Even when she quit talking, I knew her mind was still fuming over it," Kelly says, picking on her sister.

"Wow... You are so right," Amanda says, looking up at me, and I know she has had enough to drink tonight. "How did I not see that?" she asks, confused.

Lynne shrugs like it is not that big of a deal. "It is just annoying, that's all," she says.

"Why do you keep reading them then?" I ask, my voice sounding defensive because I was going to the defense.

She thinks again before talking, "because... people die in real life, and that is annoying, but we have to move on," she says, looking down.

Meredith, who had been sitting on the side couch looking like she was content with everyone throughout the night, speaks, "Oh Please," she snarls, standing up while an evil laugh escapes her lips. She walks out of the room, making sure to grab the wine bottle on the side table as she does. Kelly's eyes lock onto Lynne's, and their eyes show that they are in an inside secret together. It was like a current of words were exchanged without any lip movements being made. The twins, content watching TV with Kevin, got up and started clearing the room of discarded cups and plates. The night was coming to an end, and it was ending poorly due to a cold-hearted mother.

"Well, I guess this is goodnight," Lynne says, playing with her hands in her lap after Kelly and Amanda started talking in the entryway with Kevin yawning behind them.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I whisper in her ear before we stand up.

"Tomorrow is Christmas," she responds, giving me her hand and pulling me up off the couch.

"My Christmas gift to myself," I say.

I do not write when I get back to the cabin. Something was happening to me. I do not undress for bed. I do fall on the bed and dream of Lynne and the next day to come.