Love Letter

Ian:

Life was good.

Life was perfect.

I wanted to call Amanda and tell her that we were moving forward. But then, I didn't want to tell anyone; I just wanted to enjoy being around Lynne. I could still screw it up and have her booting me from her life for good.

I couldn't go back to life without Lynne.

The week before the anniversary party had been good between us. I was expecting that she would ask me to it – I was going to ask her multiple times but Amanda's words "Give her space" kept popping into my head. I was fuming when I called Amanda and let her know Lynne was taking someone else to the party. There wasn't even assigned seating until I called Jimmy and told him to make it happen.

"I tried it your way, Amanda, giving her space," I snapped in the phone after I had already had a few shots. The liquor burned as I downed two shots back to back. Amanda was in a dress and at my door twenty minutes later.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped at her.

"Jimmy asked if I go with and keep an eye on you. He's never seen you like this," she said, laughing, getting enjoyment out of my pain. I relaxed a little bit when I found out that she had brought Johnny the bartender but tensed back up, remembering how he had left her to throw up alone that night. She could have had alcohol poisoning easily without knowing it with her weight.

But it had all worked out so far.... She would spend the day with me not because she had to because she wanted to. I knew the last few weeks if she didn't want to work with me, she wouldn't have. She knew as much as me that we were meant for each other.

"Where to first love?" I asked Lynne when she stepped back into the room after changing in the bathroom. I couldn't wait till we were to the point in our relationship where she could get ready in front of me. I couldn't wait to propose to her, to be honest. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I needed to buy a ring and be prepared for the right moment. I couldn't tell Amanda what I thought since she would freak out on me. Space...

"What would you suggest for a New Yorker who hasn't done much in the last four years living here," she says to me.

"Have you visited the statue of liberty? Visited Ellis Island? Gone to Empire State Building? Oh, rode on a double decker bus?" I ask. She shakes her no to all of these things.

"That's okay. I haven't done any of them either," I laugh.

By the time we made it to the statue of liberty, the tickets were sold out.

"How about we go back to your place, and you cook me a late lunch," Lynne says, pushing up against me in the back of my car.

"Okay," I say.

Lynne looks around my penthouse apartment when we get back like she hadn't spent all last night and this morning here.

"It is very bare," she says, looking at the living room. "It makes me think of a sterile environment where they are doing testing labs," she said.

"First woman I bring back to my apartment, and you make it sound like I am a serial killer," I say, watching as she sweeps her eyes from the granite floors to the ceiling.

"American Psycho style leaves nothing behind," she says, joking. "I don't know; it is not cozy like I thought it would be," she says.

"You've thought about my apartment?" I ask, delighted.

"Of course; you have seen my childhood room and my now apartment bedroom. My childhood room hadn't been lived in for three years, and it shows more life than this apartment," I say.

"Move in with me," I say, watching as Lynne's eyes go big.

"Ian, we haven't even been back together for a full day, and you are asking me to move in with... Baby steps," she says back to me. I step forward, wrapping my arms around her.

"I want you to move in. It has been boring here since the holidays. I was content with being alone by myself, and then I came back, and it was all wrong," I say with my mouth next to her ear, knowing what effect this had on her.

"That's a big step for me, for you too. You would get sick of me before you knew it," she says, turning so her eyes can lock on mine. "Let's see how the next few months go," she says as my face falls. "And just so you know, I was happy with being alone before the holidays, and you had to mess everything up. I even have a friend now," she says, kissing me on the cheek.

"Mandy?" I ask.

"Yes, Mandy," she says back, heading toward the kitchen.