"Here are the rules again:
You and the other participants get blindfolded and stand to the opposite of each other. You then have to blindly walk towards one of them and whoever you bump into, you have to sleep with tonight.
You already know you're g...
Noun A feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.
Verb To feel or display deep distress. ☆-------------------------------------------------☆
However.
These last few weeks have been giving him mixed feelings, clouding his mind.
It felt like he had been betrayed. Especially yesterday when the only person they talking about on their date was Minho.
At first, he thought the younger was just checking up on his friends, which he contemplated asgenuinely kind, concerning Jisung barely knew then. That was only until he realized, he never asked a single thing about Chan, only Minho.
"How has Minho been doing?"
"Do you know what he'll be doing today?"
"Is he into someone?"
"Is he in a relationship?"
"Do you think we'd fit well together?"
Those were some of the questions that made him leave the day before.
Why would Jisung always care so much about Minho, and never about him? It hurt so damn much!
He rarely asked how he was doing. Rarely asked what he will be doing that day. And most importantly, he never talked about them. He never asked Changbin about their relationship with each other. Never asked him about his feelings, about what he needed and wanted. It was always about Minho.
Minho didn't even know who Jisung was. They had never even spoken a word before. Whereas Changbin had been around for months already. He always tried to show the best side of himself, gave everything to be recognized by the younger. But it was still, always about Minho.
After arriving back at his dorm and crying silently, questioning why all of his efforts of being good enough never actually payed off, he came to a conclusion. That it was actually his fault! Maybe he shouldn't have overreacted and ran away like that.
He loved Jisung so much, why did he go away? The younger had done nothing wrong that day and those past two months, it was always he himself, right? He couldn't lose Jisung. He needed to apologize.
However for the sake of respecting himself, to not cling too tightly and to allow some weight to fall off his shoulders, he was the one to pull away from their kiss and lightly push Jisung away. It was simply a way of reassuring himself.
If he needed to, he could separate from the younger. He was the one who broke the kiss despite wanting it to go on forever, not Jisung. He was still in control of his own feelings, right?
The boy looked at him with really unreadable eyes, deep down, probably knowing why Changbin had just done that.
He moved his hand up a little more to properly caress the older's cheek, letting him watch as tears slowly started falling down his face.
Changbin didn't know how to react, neither of them saying a thing as Jisung simply cried just looking into the other's pretty eyes. He had been such a fool. A moron.
"Binnie, I'm so sorry.." He managed to let out, harshly biting down his bottom lip to stop himself from sobbing.
"I never should've said the things I said or done the things I did. I hurt you, I made you feel like you weren't ever enough for me. I wasn't myself, I couldn't think straight and you were the one who had to deal with the consequences. I- I.." He looked down, feeling like he could fully break down any second.
He had never felt so stupid. Never acted so stupid. It hurt him knowing he had brought so many hard days to the one he actually adored and admired the most.
Changbin standing there, he felt his heart about to cling harder to Jisung just hearing those words. He wasn't the one that's not enough? The younger was admitting the mistakes he had done? Really? Maybe he was dreaming?
He grabbed ahold of the boy's hands, taking one off of his face and the other away from his waist, simply holding them in his own and pulling Jisung to come closer that way, engaging him in a huge embrace.
The younger fully broke down at that action, crying and sobbing uncontrollably as he hugged back so tightly. He felt so unbearably awful.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He mumbled between wales, pulling the other closer and closer when it wasn't even physically possible anymore.
"I know I've been in the wrong this entire time! I'm the one who messed up, I'm the bad person who's supposed to feel guilty, not you! I kept on making you feel so unimportant and unworthy when you're the most precious thing to ever enter my life! I'm so sorry, I'm sorry!"
Changbin teared up listening to those words - words he subconsciously had been waiting to hear for so long already. Jisung seemed like he was truly regretting what he had done from deep down his heart.
"It's okay." He whispered, rubbing shapes all over the other's back to try and help him calm down.
Jisung just shook his head, keeping on crying. Just like that? Why would Changbin forgive him so quickly? He couldn't understand, it made no sense. He should be mad at him but why was he so calm?
"W-why Changbin..? Why don't you hate me already? Why aren't you mad? W-why..?"
The older smiled, moving his hand up to run it through Jisung's soft, light brown hair, lightly massaging his head in the process. His answer was quiet, yet genuine. The voice he used was light like a feather, filled with sincerity.
"Because you mean the world to me"
Jisung went silent for a second, surprised to hear something like that in a moment like this. He did not deserve these words. He was nowhere near being worthy of meaning so much to Changbin, but why?
"Why so shocked?" The older chuckled sheepishly "I thought I had made that clear through my actions already."
The flowers, the gifts, the compliments, the promises, the dates, the calls, the hugs, the conversations, he remembered them all. Changbin really had shown him his admiration multiple times already.
The older let go of the embrace, using his hands to wipe away the last few stray tears off of the stunned boy's cheeks.
"I'm not mad at you. I'm really grateful for your words and the apology. It makes me feel like you care and that's enough for me already."
☆•°------------------------------------------°•☆
I'm sorry for the slow updates lately!! I've really been caught up with studying these days but I promise I will work harder and try to make time for updates♥︎
What do you think about the way Changbin is feeling and reacting? Or about Jisung in general? Would love to know what you're thinking right now♥︎
