Help Me To Heal

Roll on Christmas

It had been a couple of months since the events of the GRC meeting and Bucky still hadn't proposed. He had been carrying the ring around almost constantly waiting for the perfect moment but he just couldn't seem to pluck up the courage, terrified of rejection. The unasked question looming over him.

"Bucky! I'm going out for a few hours, shall I bring something back for dinner?" Lexie called out as she stood by the front door, pulling on her boots.

Bucky walked in from the kitchen, drying his hands on a towel, a scowl on his face. "Where are you going?"

"Just to run some errands" Lexie shrugged, trying to be nonchalant while avoiding eye contact.

"You know I can tell when you're lying right?" he said sadly, sitting on the armrest of the couch.

"I'm not lying Buck"

Bucky scoffed loudly before looking down at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers nervously "are you.. are you.. I mean.. is there.." he took a shaky breath "is there someone else?"

Lexie raised an eyebrow at him "wow. Just.. wow" she shook her head and grabbed her keys "I can't believe you'd think so little of me" she looked over at Bucky who was looking at the floor, his hands wringing together.

"Well honestly what am I supposed to think? You've been disappearing for hours at a time at least once a week sometimes more for like a month now and you won't ever tell me where you're going"

"You're supposed to trust me" Lexie replied quietly "you're supposed to believe that I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you"

Bucky watched as she wiped away an errant tear and he sighed heavily. "I do trust you Chip, but you're clearly keeping something from me. I've tried not to let it bother me, I really have.." he ran a hand over his face "You know what, I'm sorry sweetheart.. I trust you and I know you'll tell me when you're ready"

He smiled at her but she could tell it was forced, that he was hurting. He was right, she was keeping something from him, but it was with her best intentions. She walked over to where he was sat and stood between his legs, wrapping her arms around his neck "look at me Buck" he lift his face up to hers and their eyes locked "I'm sorry my love. I've been so wrapped up in what I've been doing I never stopped to think what it would look like to you" she pushed his hair back, admiring his features "it's Christmas in a couple of days, then all will be revealed. I promise"

Bucky tilted his head slightly "Christmas? You mean..."

"Yes, I've been sneaking off to sort your Christmas gift you silly sausage"

He let out a hefty sigh of relief, his head dropping in to her chest "I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry sweetheart, I never should have said what I said. I know you'd never do that to me"

"It's ok sugarplum, we both fucked up a little" she kissed him on the head "hey Buck?" She chuckled "did we just resolve a potential problem and argument sensibly like grown adults and entirely unlike the fucked up people that we are?"

Bucky laughed, his face still buried in her cleavage "I guess so doll. Looks like we really do bring out the best in each other"

"I knew it" she smiled. There was a minute or two of silence and Lexie stood there, waiting patiently for Bucky to detach himself "Buck, you planning on removing your face from my cleavage any time soon?"

"Nope"

"Bucky I really need to go" she laughed

"Don't care. I live here now"

"Then you won't get your Christmas present"

Bucky paused "Is it better than your boobs?"

"I don't think I can answer that subjectively since I'm not all that in to my boobs personally, but its pretty good and you do have unlimited access to my boobs for the rest of our lives."