Help Me To Heal

The end of the line

Lexie sat at her dressing table, curling her hair with the curling wand that was the cause of many a scar on her neck. She watched in the reflection of the mirror as Bucky came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped low on his hips and she had a flash back to the morning before Steve had left. Steve walking out of the bathroom, a towel hanging low on his hips the same way, the flirty smile and wink he shot in her direction when he caught her looking.

She set the curling wand down with shaking hands and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and willing the pain in her chest to ease. Bucky wrapped his arms around her and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head "are you ok sweetheart?"

"I should be asking you that" she sniffled "you knew Steve for much longer than I did"

"Doesn't mean my pain is any more valid than yours. You're allowed to be hurting darling, Steve was a huge part of your life"

Tilting her head back, she looked up at Bucky "can I ask you a question, and you give me a 100% honest answer?"

Bucky leaned down and kissed her on the nose "I will always be 100% honest with you, beautiful"

"Does it bother you that I was with Steve? I mean it wasn't exactly a fling, it was over 5 years and we lived together here in this house. He was your best friend, does it not bother you to think about me and him? I try to avoid talking about him like that cos I don't want to upset you or make you jealous or anything, I don't want you to think that I'm not happy with you, or that you aren't enough. Because I am and and you are.."

"Chip.." Bucky cut her off, a small smile on his face "you're rambling"

"Sorry" she mumbled

"To answer your question, no. It doesn't bother me."

"That's good, but... how come? I think if it was the other way round I wouldn't like it"

Taking her hand in his, he stood her up so he could look deep in to her eyes "because you're meant for me, and I am meant for you. Everything that happened up until the moment we finally came together was meant to happen, it had to happen for us to find each other. And once we found each other, nothing else mattered to me"

"Your wedding vows better be as good, if not better than what you just said you know" she chuckled, wiping tears from her eyes.

"I'll do my best sweetheart" he smiled sadly "you ready to go say goodbye to Steve?"

"No" she sniffled "you?"

He sighed heavily "Nope"

***

Lexie sat in the cold church, staring at the picture of Steve that had been placed at the front. Tearing her eyes away from it she looked around, her vision blurred by tears. There was not many people here, and there was nobody that she recognised. Bruce hadn't been able to come since he drew too much attention to himself what with being huge and green, Sarah couldn't find anyone to look after the kids, and nobody else knew what had happened to Steve.

The music started and everyone turned in their seats to watch as the pallbearers - including Bucky and Sam - entered the church, carrying Steve's coffin.
Lexie's gaze remained fixed on Bucky, his facial expression stoic, but Lexie knew him well enough to see he was fighting to keep it together. His jaw was clenched tightly to keep it from trembling, his steel blue eyes glistening with tears.

After setting Steve down at the front, Bucky and Sam joined Lexie, sitting either side of her. She entwined her hand with Bucky's, and gave it a soft squeeze. Holding her other hand out to Sam for comfort, he took it gratefully, holding it tightly in both of his hands.