Confessions

Confession #63

Confession #63: Why are some people so negative about life?

I understand if you become negative about something but I don't like people you are too much of a realist. Everything will happen in the way you think of it. Essentially, if you think about the realistic solutions, nothing will happen. But if you think about it imaginatively, then everything in the world seems more colorful and more full of hope. That is when you can see the world/people's best feautures. I'm not saying being real is completely incorrect and we must always think the unthinkable but there are times where you shouldn't face the truth. Times where you should just kinda let yourself hope and let yourself feel like it can be done.

That's how the first airplane was invented. One person had to leave the realism of humans cannot fly in the air and wake up and say "I want to fly." And guess what? We can soar through the skies now. I'm sorry if I'm being all philosophical on you, but I'm being honest here. People around me are just so negative. They keep on saying "we could've won. We shouldn't have done this, but did this instead. We will never win this."

WELL WHY ARE YOU PICKING OUT THE SPOILED FRUITS INSTEAD OF THE SWEET ONES? Negativity irks me. I hate it. And I have gone through some depression that always come back to me like a cloud. And I hate it. I hate that negativity raining on me. All my life I try to push away the negativity away from me. I make sure to believe what I want to believe.

That is hard when the rest of your family looks at everything realistically. But no. The reason why I am succeeding is because of my optimism. I keep on holding on to the light, the fire even when people try to water it down. No one will probably ever think like me and I always feel alone in that aspect.

But today, I AM OKAY. Today, I AM GOING TO DREAM. I try my best and if my best isn't enough for you then you can walk away. Or if you want I can walk away from you.

I know how hard it is to keep on following the light through the storm, through a tornado and being sweeped up with so many emotions that you get blinded by the darkness and you lose the light. And when you lose the light, it gets scary. I have been there. I just found my light again. And I'm holding on to it tight again. I might be lost again. But I will still dream again.

People call me crazy. I am not necessarily the most attractive person. My "friends" have better people to talk to. Some of my guy friends have preference of pretty girls to be their friends over me. And I'm always the one that helps them to become social but they never really ever come back to thank me. Yeah it sucks. But it's the light that is keeping me going. The light that whispers "one more day". Besides I am not completely friendless I have two amazing people who are there whenever I need them the most.

Well I'm just going to be positive. I'm going to keep on hoping keep on dreaming until I recieve what I want. If no one care about me now, they will once I graduate.  No one will miss me when I'm gone now, but I will make them miss me when I leave high school and go do amazing things. Because I am doing amazing things, but no one notices it. But it's alright xD. Because I have everday to come closer to my dream. :)

I love you all.

Taz <3