Confessions

Confession #30

Confession #30: I hate drama, over the top Negativity, and arguments.

Drama. Ewww. If you start drama then don't even come close to me. I hate how my family is revolved around so much drama that we didn't even start! It's a long story and I would prefer to stay my family out of my Confession stories (like privacy wise).

But anyways so yesterday we were at a warehouse store and my mom stopped all of a sudden and said, "Wait. I know that person. We can't go there. She will tell her." So we hid away from that person she knew. To clear things up, when my mom said "she will tell her" the "her"  in the dialogue... well let's just call "her" a bitch.

SO basically what she meant was that she just met a person who is good friends with the bitch. If the bitch heard stuff about our family, then she will stir some serious shit up.

What pisses me off more than anything is my mom is so afraid to confront her and she doesn't want to talk to her, afraid that the words she will say will change into another set of words that will be sent to the bitch.

I understand that, but it pisses me off because the more you hide from fucking drama, the more it increases. I am aware that if you are involved in it then yeah drama will increase to. BUT I JUST CAN'T STAND WHEN PEOPLE RUN AWAY FROM THIS SHIT.

I WOULD HAVE GONE STRAIGHT UP TO HER AND BE AN OVERLY NICE BITCH TO HER AND JUST TALK TO HER SO SWEETLY IN A FALSE VOICE. ON PURPOSE.

I don't why it irks me so much. But I just hate it. I have gone through so much shit about drama that I just get overly pissed when people are mortally afraid when drama and gossip gets told about them. Get up and speak your mind. It makes you feel better and also it shuts them up.

When you are afraid, that's what they want. Trust me, I have been fucking afraid all of my enitre life when this girl practically ruined my elementary and middle school years by constantly ruining me and harassing me, also making fun of my clumsy mistakes, acting like she was the older one.

But then I spoke up, and yelled shit at her (true pure shit at her) and she talked even more shit at me, but she was aware that I had a tiger for a mouth.

So never shut your mouth keep your sass and sometimes let your true shit show. I am normally a nice person always there to listen to you, whether it's one in the morning, or 2 in the morning or even at 11pm! But sometimes you just gotta let it out, just to let people know, you do have a side to you where you ARE STRONG AND FIERCE.

Gaaah sorry this is kinda of a rant since so many things are just pissing me off right now. I hate overly negative people. My brother is one of them and it just pisses me off when he says things like:

"omg your hair is weird

you are stupid

hahahah yeah you suck

i'm only stating reality. your dreams will never come true.

At first it hurt. A whole lot. Now i'm using that negativity to power up my work ethic. I'm working my butthole off just so I can shove his inconsiderate rude "realist" comments down his throat.

Arguments are something I hate. Especially with my mom. Since she has more power over me she just likes to shut me up whenever and whereever. I can't even explain my logic or my thoughts to her in a calm matter before she shuts me up! I can't even respond or even speak my mind!

That's what makes my anger explode too!

And then she asks where I got my temper....

oh. well idk mom maybe I GOT IT FROM YOU? Because you tell me that I keep on going on with my arguments when in reality you do to???

You scream and yell a whole more than I ever do and then you blame it all on me?

That maybe I'm your scapegoat and you like to shamelessly pick me up when i am lifeless and throw me around by dictating every thing i have done in the past when i am trying to move on from it ?

Right now I am in such overwhelming boiling rage, my legs are shaking ten times faster as I am typing this. But never have I felt so alive.

It's hard being the only writer in my family because everyone tells me to leave the computer after an hour. 

It's hard being the only teen in the househould because everyone is an adult and thinks like an adult and then they expect you to think like an adult.

But I'm just a teen.

Who listens to music.

And my mom tells me that I don't listen to her when I"m listening to music with my earphones.

And now she tells me that I neglect her because I'm just not as religious as them.

Well fuck off.

I'm just a teen.

And you don't know me.

And now she is yelling at me to get off the computer. NOw she is telling me that I"m a horrible daughter.

I should go before she tells me any more stupid crap.

I"m about to burst in tears and in rage.

I"m just done.

I"m out.

Bye.