Retrograde

Retrograde | Chapter 4

Dears,

Thank you for your patience!  My work became crazy these past two weeks, and I had very little time to write.

Warning:  🔞 and profanity in this chapter.  Please read at your own discretion.

As always, thank you for your support, and kind messages and comments.  I read them all and they motivate me to keep writing.  Find me dizigirl1 on Twitter to chat there about the chapter!

Sending you all lots of love,
Ames

P.S. I also realize now that where I left Ch3 was not in the most romantic of places...so buckle up for the weirdest "Previously on.." ever...in all of history... *winces*

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Previously on Retrograde:

Panting, his mind returns to earth, realizing that he's just masturbated to his best friend.

Fuck Serkan. You've really fucked yourself now.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Serkan stands, examining himself in the bathroom mirror for no less than the second time that night. His heartbeat thuds in his ears as he watches the droplets of water travel down his shoulders and over his chest in a dazed state.

Feeling sick to his stomach – the memory of his betrayal sears his insides.

How could he do this to Eda? She trusts him not to get all grabby and shit on her, and here he is, jerking off to their memories in the shower. He exhales loudly, throwing his head back in disgust and blinking at the roof.

Sort your shit out.

Jumping up and down on the spot, Serkan physically shakes off the excess energy coursing through his body as he exhales breathy, staccato sounds.

No big deal, Serkan. This is just like any other night. You've done this a billion times before. You just have to lie next to her for the whole night...

Realization sets in, and his heart sinks.

You fucking idiot...

A gentle knock on the bathroom door interrupts his thoughts.

"Serkan? Are you OK?" Eda calls quietly. "Did you see your clothes I left on the basin?"

"Y...yes, I did," he squeaks, quickly rolling his eyes in horror at the ridiculous sound that just exited his face. He stares at the spare pyjamas he leaves in Eda's bottom drawer for nights like tonight.

Oh, Jesus.

He swallows hard and drops his tone just about one thousand octaves, "Hey, yeah. Ah...will be right out," and frantically throws his shirt over his head. Picking up his toothbrush, he points it at himself in the mirror.

"We're not doing this. You understand? You get your fucking shit together, and you get it together NOW!" he whispers angrily at his reflection, leaving the bathroom.

Towel drying his hair, he enters Eda's bedroom, where a neatly made mattress is on the floor; the blankets are already turned down. A single lamp illuminates the space, and his eyes roam over all the knickknacks he knows by heart. He can feel her essence here, and his lips curl into a soft smile as a wave of calm washes over him. His panicked breathing slows as he inhales her scent.

"Hey, I got you some water," Eda says quietly behind him. Serkan spins, watching her place it carefully on the desk beside him.

He smells deliciously of soap – her soap – and his gorgeous strawberry-blonde hair is darker from the shower. She takes a long breath in and sighs, pretending to be tired – using it as an excuse to smell him more deeply. Freshly showered Serkan is her favourite Serkan.