Retrograde

Retrograde | Chapter 14 (Part 2)

Author's Note:

Hello, my loves,

This was a heavy chapter to write, and finding time was difficult.  I cried many times putting this on paper, and it's not a good look to do in the office, so opportunities to write were limited.

I'm sorry that I keep giving you sadness.   Please bear with me - we'll see healing soon enough, but not before a little angst.  #JealousSerkanLoading.

Disclaimer:  There is a scene that, in real life, would have the medical ethics board putting my ass in a sling.  Please just ignore it and go with it.  It's fiction.  And I'm sorry for hurting your doctor-souls.

Love you all, and thank you for your notes of encouragement.

Ames.

P.S.  I didn't edit as heavily this time just so I could get it out to you sooner.  Please forgive the errors.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Previously on Retrograde:

His confused eyes track her every move as if he's scared she'll disappear. "Eda..." he tries to speak, but his dry, unused vocal cords have other ideas. Even in a daze, his hands try to find her.

"I'm here. Shhh. You need to rest, Serkan. I'm here." Eda strokes his hair once more before re-fitting his oxygen mask. "Shhhh...."

And guided by her gentle touch, Serkan's eyes gently close, returning him to slumber.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Serkan wakes in the early morning with a wince. His mouth feels like sandpaper, and confusion abounds as his sleepy eyes adjust to the white walls of the hospital and the odd dreams of Eda. He lifts his hand, taking in the IV and cords attached to his body, and attempts to shake off his oxygen mask with a groan - his discomfort wakes Sonny, who is instantly on his feet.

"Serkan! Oh my god! You're awake! No, no! Leave it on!" Sonny instructs, carefully replacing the oxygen mask. Relieved tears instantly stream down Sonny's face as he exuberantly cups Serkan's face instead of lifting Serkan into a rough hug, as is his first impulse. The number and thickness of the bandages covering Serkan's broad chest have reduced significantly in the last two weeks, but Sonny is careful of the stitches that remain.

"Let me get the nurse!" he offers, pressing Serkan's call button. "Do you want some water?" Not waiting for a reply, he quickly moves to the wheelie table beside the bed and fills a cup.

Serkan nods gratefully as Sonny lifts the mask, placing the straw at Serkan's lips. The chilled water is soothing against his scratchy throat, and Serkan attempts to talk - unable to find his voice. Wisps of air are all that he can muster after two weeks unconscious, and Sonny leans his ear close.

"Hospital?" he wheezes in question, and Sonny nods vigorously, grabbing his friend's hand and looking him in the eyes. He's been thinking of this moment ever since Serkan was brought here. There's so much Sonny himself needs to know, but the weight of his own revelations is crippling. How is he going to be able to tell Serkan that not only is Engin gone but that he is also a Genovese?

And then there's Eda. Sonny's heart lurches in his chest at the thought.

"Yes. Yes. You're at NY Presbyterian. Try not to talk. You were brought here after Retrograde."

Serkan stiffens at the mention of the mission, and Sonny holds his anxious gaze until he finally finds the courage to say the thing even he doesn't want to believe.

"Serkan...," Sonny gulps, "...he...didn't make it."

Serkan doesn't need to be told who "he" is. He's been wrapped in dreams of Engin too. He slowly closes his eyes, his lips pulling into a thin, emotional line as he tries to keep it together. His breathing shudders as the tears slip from under his lashes, and Serkan can only nod in acknowledgment. Sonny bows down, pressing their foreheads together in joined grief.