The Art of Dying - R. Black

forty three

Shortly after Regulus had left Gryffindor Tower, Jack nodded for us to go upstairs, wearing an unreadable expression on his face.

I closed the dormitory door behind me, turning to face Jack. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, hands folded in his lap.

"Are you seriously back together with him?" Jack questioned, a blank expression on his face.

I feel like it's getting harder and harder to read him. He used to be like an open book, but now I struggle to figure out what he's feeling.

I shrugged, "He's not my boyfriend though."

"But you're still with him?"

"Yes," I answered, "We're together."

Jack sighed, "You're back together with him, even after all that shit? He hurt you, Meredith, twice."

"That was because of my own naivety," I said. "Not him purposely trying to hurt me."

"He made you cry."

I frowned, "And you haven't?"

Jack went silent, looking down at his folded hands in his lap. He looked young like that, he looked like he did when we were thirteen and he found out that his mum was sick. He cried for hours, and I didn't know what to do, so I just sat with him.

Jack's mum died the summer before fourth year.

"I just-, I just don't want to see him hurt you again," Jack stuttered.

"I know, and I appreciate that, but I can handle this," I explained. "It's different this time."

"And you know that for sure? You know that he won't just leave you or stop talking to you?" Jack questioned, his voice curious.

I pursed my lips together. I'd been trying so hard to avoid thinking about what would happen to us once we leave Hogwarts, once we don't see each other everyday.

"It's different this time," I repeated.

"How? How is it different, Meredith?"

I threw my hands up. "Because he loves me, Jack," I exclaimed, "He loves me this time."

"Sometimes love isn't enough."

Ouch.

"You're my best friend," I started.

Jack practically winced.

"I want you to support me in this," I continued, "This is my decision, not yours."

"And as your best friend, I don't want him to break your heart."

I sat down next to him, bumping my knee against his. "What is your problem with him anyways? What did he ever do to you?" I questioned, searching Jack's eyes.

"He didn't do anything to me," Jack replied. "But he did hurt you more than once, so that's why I have a problem with him."

"You never had a problem when I dated Dirk, and he made me cry," I pointed out.

Jack shrugged, "That's because I knew you guys wouldn't last."

"And me and Regulus?"

"I don't know, Meredith. Depends on if it's really different this time." Jack's hair hung in his face, covering his eyes.

When his mum died, it just left him and Katherine, his older sister, alone with their dad. Jack's father is a good man, I've known him for years, but something changed once his mum passed. He adored his children, but he wasn't present. When Jack lost his mum, he also lost his dad in a way. Katherine had just graduated and moved out, leaving Jack alone in a house that was far too big with a father who was too far gone.