reasons to go, reasons to stay ➸ camren

chapter thirty one ➸ from nothing at all, to everything you ever wanted

After leaving Rowan with a neighbor who knew sign language after growing up with a deaf brother, she sped back to the bookstore. She'd done too much driving today but the only thing that was on her mind was Camila.

She finally pulled up in front of the bookstore, practically falling out of her car. She was worried that Camila wouldn't be there. Lauren's heart sped up when the small girl wasn't anywhere in the aisles, but she let out a sigh of relief when she opened the bathroom door and Camila was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. She looked up when she heard Lauren and offered a nervous smile.

"C'mon," Lauren said softly, motioning for Camila to follow her. She noticed the small girl's struggle to get up and hurried over to grab her hand and help her to her feet. Camila smiled thankfully and followed Lauren outside to her car.

"You gonna buckle up?" Lauren asked once they were in the car. Camila looked completely out of her element. She'd put her hood back on, but kept her head up. Lauren could just see the lids of her brown eyes.

She giggled when Camila quickly reached for her seatbelt. Lauren wondered how long it had been since she'd been in a car.

The car ride was silent for the most part. Camila wondered where they were going, but she had no way of asking without getting Lauren to pull over and look at her phone. So instead, she settled for clasping her hands in her lap and subtly studying Lauren's face while she drove.

"You should know by now I'm not letting you go back to that shelter," Lauren broke the silence once they were parked in front of what appeared to be a decent sized shopping mall. Camila instantly turned to look at Lauren.

"So you have two options," Lauren said, running a nervous hand through her hair. "You can either let me buy you a hotel room until you can get back on your feet..." Lauren paused and studied Camila's reaction.

"Or you can come home with me. Only if you plan on being a part of Rowan's life again, though. I don't want her growing even more confused than she already is." Lauren didn't expect Camila to pick the second option, but she'd thrown it out there just in case. Camila deserved the choice.

Camila felt waves of guilt wash over her. Truth is she was terrified of sleeping in an empty hotel room, all by herself. But, she was also terrified of what Rowan would say when she saw her.

But she remembered she'd told herself she wouldn't hold herself back anymore. Keith was dead. She shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Lauren didn't have her phone out so Camila thought for a few moments before waving her hands to get Lauren's attention.

"H-O-M-E," she signed, spelling out the word since she didn't know the sign yet.

Lauren was surprised. "With me?"

Camila nodded.

Part of Lauren was scared to let Camila back into her life. She didn't care what it did to her, but she was afraid of what it would do to Rowan. But she knew that Rowan deserved the choice for herself. If Rowan were to tell Lauren she didn't want to be around Camila, Lauren would find another way to accommodate her. For now, Camila was her responsibility.

"Then it's settled. Let's go get you cleaned up," Lauren smiled, squeezing Camila's shoulder comfortingly. She realized this was going to be an adjustment for the both of them.

She realized something else, too.

She still loved her.

——

"You like hoodies, yeah?" Lauren giggled, watching as Camila sifted through a colorful pile of the sweatshirts. They'd been shopping for a while now, and Lauren had been the one making most of the decisions. She'd hold up a shirt and Camila would give her a thumbs up if she liked it. If she got a thumbs down, the article of clothing went back on the rack.