reasons to go, reasons to stay ➸ camren

chapter five ➸ after all these years

“I… uh, That’s not the kangaroo, silly. Dreams aren’t real, remember?” Camila asked, kneeling down next to Rowan. She accidentally looked up and locked eyes with the girl at the door for a moment, feeling her heart drop in her chest. She quickly drew her eyes back to her daughter.

 The small child nodded softly, still clutching onto Camila’s shirt.

"Do you think you could sleep a little longer if I put on some music for you?” Camila asked, picking Rowan up and carrying her towards her bedroom. She wouldn’t allow herself to look at the door again, not until Rowan was away.

“I like music,” Rowan nodded, hopping onto her bed once Camila placed her down. Camila quickly put a CD in the CD player next to Rowan’s bed and turned it to a low volume.

“Goodnight mommy. Have fun with the kangaroo,” Rowan giggled from underneath her blankets. Camila made a funny face at her daughter before kissing her forehead and slipping out of the room.

She looked back to the door, expecting to see Lauren standing there, but instead seeing the empty hallway. Her breath caught in her throat and she hurried over to the door, looking out into the hallway just in time to see a figure disappear into the elevator.

Camila didn’t realize she was running until she skidded to a stop in front of the elevator, practically throwing her body in the space between the two doors to stop them from closing.

“Please don’t go,” she breathed, trying to catch her breath. She looked up and met Lauren’s eyes for the second time in years, and felt tears brimming in her own.

Lauren’s eyes were still the same shade of green that Camila had found comfort in all those years. But something was different. They looked almost… lifeless. Silence enveloped both of the girls, their eyes still locked on one another.

Lauren eventually looked away, fixing her gaze on the floor.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Lauren finally said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “I don’t know what you want me to do… you’ve been alive all this time… why didn’t you…? I-I called so many times…” she rasped. Her voice grew quieter and quieter with every word.

Camila sniffed, wiping her eyes and shaking her head. “I can explain. Please.”

Lauren looked back up at her. Camila could tell she was unsure.

“Please, Lauren. I haven’t been able to talk to you in years. Please just give me this chance.”

Both girls didn’t say anything else, but Lauren exited the elevator. She shoved her hands in the pocket of her hoodie and waited for Camila to lead her back down the hallway.

When the apartment door closed Lauren broke the silence.

“I always envisioned myself as more of a panda.”

Camila shot her a look of confusion, and Lauren smirked.

“The kid,” she said, nodding towards Rowan’s bedroom. “I’m a kangaroo, apparently.”

“O-oh, yeah. That’s… that’s a thing she does, sometimes,” Camila stammered, instantly regretting telling her daughter about her ‘dream’.

“I take it that answering my calls is a thing she does, sometimes, too?” Lauren said, raising an eyebrow. Camila swallowed hard and turned away, walking into the kitchen and busying herself with the coffee maker.

“Do you want something to drink…?” Camila asked carefully, keeping her eyes off of Lauren. Her hands shook as she moved to grab a mug from the cabinet.