Oblivious Heart - (A Male Reader x Rinko Shirokane Fanfiction)

Chapter 23 - Defeated

I finally got home.

This should've been one of the best nights I would have in a while when... it ended in a total disaster.

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"Would you mind.... letting me take my time to learn how to love you..?" She asked me.

And the first thing I thought was... No. This isn't right. This isn't how things should be.

"No." I said. That was the only thing I could say at that time.

"Eh...? Uhm... How come?" She asked.

She wasn't looking at me anymore like she was doing awhile ago. It's obvious that she's scared. I've scared off Shirokane-san.

"While I do think that learning to love someone works out... this isn't what I want you to do Shirokane-san." I said.

"I wouldn't want you to start learning how to love me just because I've been nice to you. What I want is that if you ever fall in love with me... it's because you actually, and genuinely find a reason and something in me that you do like about me." I added.

"But..." Shirokane-san tried to speak up.

"Please, don't take pity on me. That's probably the worst thing you could do to me right now...." I said.

Of course, it was not easy saying that.

I could see her tremble.

Next thing I knew, she took the other bag on my other hand and ran off.

Of course, I still knew that I had to see her home at all costs, so I slowly and quietly followed behind her.

But her house was actually just up ahead.

Seeing as she's finally home, I decided to head home myself.

While feeling totally defeated.

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I know for a fact that Shirokane-san probably went home crying earlier. And I feel really bad for doing that to her...

But I just didn't want her to love me back just because she knew for a fact that I've been in love with her for a long while...

That's just unfair.... and it isn't the best way to fall in love either....

"I'm sorry Shirokane-san... The best way for you to not get hurt... is by hurting you a little bit...." I told myself as I lay down on my bed.

I didn't even have enough energy to cook dinner for myself and decided to immediately go to sleep as soon as I got home.

Until I receive a phone call from Shuuna.

Obviously, I picked it up.

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"What is it?" I asked.

"What do you mean what is it? Are you home? Did Rinrin get home safely?" She asked.

Oh, she's here to check up on me.

"I just got home. And yes, Shirokane-san got home safely. Just don't ask me how she felt about it..." I said.

"Why what happened?" She asked.

"Well...." I said.

I explained everything that happened awhile ago to Shuuna for the next 20 minutes.

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"I'm sorry... to hear all of that..." She said.

"It's fine..." I said.

"But seriously... pity huh?" She mentioned.

"Do you hate me?" I asked her.

"I hate you for sending Rinrin home crying." She said.

"I've got no excuses for that..." I said.

"But I don't hate you for doing the right thing." She said.

"Thank you." I said.

It is never okay to love someone back just because you feel like you owe them that because they've been in love with you for so long.

That isn't something I can live with.

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My Mom and Dad were lovers all the way from highschool until they decided to get married.

They were a very happy couple, and was excited to bring me into this world.

But all of that changed when I was 8 years old. My Mother and my Father suddenly got into a divorce, and I was forced to live with my Grandparents until I was old enough to live on my own.

I later found out that the reason for their divorce was that my mother really didn't want to continue being a wife to my father.

After a lot of asking, I found out that my father has been courting my mother for years now, and that my mother decided that she would learn to love my father for his sake.

She felt as if it was just the right thing to do. And so they became a couple until highschool.

My mother, up until they got married... seem to have kept it for herself... that she wasn't really happy anymore.

She forced herself.

Until she broke and left me and my father.

Now, she's out there with a new family while my father's working overseas.

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"So.... what are you gonna do about this?" Shuuna asked.

I have been thinking about it ever since I started walking back home in the middle of a starry night.

And I have to admit, it would've been better to walk back home with a night sky this beautiful if I didn't feel so crushed...

But I know I have to make a difference somehow... If I wanted things to be different next time...

"I think... I should move on from my feelings for Shirokane-san." I said.

"HAHHH?! What are you saying? Are you hearing yourself right now?" Shuuna reacted.

"I know. I'm only saying this because I'm probably too caught up in the moment." I said.

"On point! You've been in love with her for months now! In fact, you've been talking about her non-stop all the time even! Are you just gonna give up now?!" She said.

"But... if she's only gonna end up loving me because of pity... then it truly wouldn't work out." I said.

"Anon...." Shuuna said.

"I'll stop liking her. And if she really doesn't like me back, then that just means that I was right about her only loving me back out of pity." I said.

"And if she actually likes you back?" Shuuna asked.

"Then...maybe.....just maybe... I can have a little bit of faith..." I said.

"Alright then... You've suffered enough tonight... I won't bug you. Just know that this is your choice, and that I hope you don't regret things later on." Shuuna said.

"Welcome back, Shuuna..." I said.

"Ohohoho! How did you like my little Innocent-girl Shuuna persona? Pretty neat huh? Did ya fall for me?" She asked.

"Quit it, I'm currently going through something over here!" I said.

"Oh yeah my bad~" She said.

And that phone call spanned for hours.

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I haven't moved on from Shirokane-san. I'm lying to myself. But I gotta say.... I may just start trying to move on if things are just gonna end up like that....

- To be Continued -