Loving the Campus Monster

Chapter 24 (More old friends of his?)

Laura

"You know, I have been thinking a lot about what you said, and I think your right." I tell Ross sitting across from me in his car. We were on our way to the mall to go shopping for something to wear for his uncle's vow renewal that was fast approaching. It was actually this weekend, so that meant we only had three days to get us something for us to wear. Ross didn't have anything to wear for it, unless you count T-shirt's, leather jackets and jeans as a good outfit, and I needed to get a dress for myself as well. I thought about wearing my favorite black dress, but I changed my mind. I decided I needed to wear something classier for this event, and something they haven't already seen me in.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly did I say that got you to thinking princess?" Ross asks, gaining my attention again.

I smile. "About what I should do with my life."

He glances at me. "Yea? So, you already know what you want to do then?"

I nodded. "Yea, I have been given it a lot of thought and I think I would like to be a teacher.... a music teacher."

He raises his brow at me. "Music teacher? What made you decide on that?" He asks, curiously.

"Well, I've always loved learning and playing music growing up, but I never really got a chance to pursue it further because of my father." I frown as I think of all the times my father would interrupt my lesions to go to some kind of fashion event with him or to his office for him to teach me more about the fashion industry more. "Ever since I was a child, he's been training me to take over his fashion business one day and I went along with it in the hopes that one day I would come to like it but now I realize.... I really only did it to try and make him proud of me." I look down at my lap as I finally admit the truth to myself. All those times I tried to tell Holly to stop vying for our parents' attention because they were never going to change, and here I was secretly doing it with my father.

A fresh wave of pain hits me as I think of my father and the last things, we said to each other and how I may never see him or my mother again. I sigh before looking up again. "I guess in a way I was trying to gain his approval even though I told myself a long time ago that I didn't care, but now... now I feel like I really don't care about what he thinks of me anymore. For the first time in a long time, my mind isn't clouded by my father's opinions for me, giving me the chance to really think for myself again. Now that I am able to think clearly without my father constantly over my shoulder telling me what to do, I was able to figure out all the things that I really like to do and made a list of them. That's how I decided on being a music teacher."

He shakes his head with a smile. "It doesn't surprise me that you would choose something that has to do with music."

I give a soft smile. "Yes, but I didn't just choose this field just because of the music-although that was a big part of it-I actually chose to be a teacher so I could try and help others out there and give them the chance that I never got when I was I young and first learning music. I want to be able to help the younger generation in realizing their potential." I shrug. "Kind of like I did when I volunteered at the shelters when I was in high school and continued after we moved."

"You volunteered at shelters?" He asks me in surprise.

I nod with a smile, as I think of my time there at those places. "Yea, I did charity work for years growing up. I started volunteer work when I was still a kid. Then in high school I got more into it. Volunteering gave me purpose in my life when I felt like I had none. In high school I distanced myself from everyone after what.... happened." My smile slips as memories from that terrible night start to creep in, but I quickly push them away. "After we moved to Italia, I started to go to those shelters just to get away from everyone and their constant questions and demands-mostly from my sister's questions and my father's demands. When I was there at the shelters, I didn't feel pressured to do or say anything, instead I felt like I was.... one of them in a way. There, I didn't feel alone since there were always people around at the shelters or at the soup kitchens. No one asked me questions about me, everyone had their own problems to worry about." I inhale, raising my gaze to look out the windshield at the city passing by, thinking of my time there at those shelters and all the people I befriended, and the ones helped. "I liked to think that I was helping to solve their problems a little just by being there for them. I wish I could have done more, advised them in some helpful way, but really people there were just grateful to have someone to listen to them. Even the ones who didn't want to talk, they still wanted some company. I stayed with them, read them newspapers, taught them things they wanted to learn, really anything to help keep their minds off their problems. Sometimes, all you want is to hear another person's voice to keep away the loneliness...."