Loving the Campus Monster

Chapter 9 (A choice)

Laura

"Are you ready to go?" Holly asks me as she grabs her coat by the door.

"Yeah." I reply as I grabbed my bag and the presents I got for our parents on the floor, and then followed Holly out of our apartment and down to my car. It is Christmas break now so we are going to our parents' house to stay for the week. I have not heard from Ross for the past two weeks leading up to Christmas break. He barely comes to class anymore and when he does he just ignores me. I try to talk to him after class but he hurries out and over to his friends, and I'm too much of a coward to try to confront him with them nearby, I think he knows this too. He doesn't even try to drive me back to my apartment from class anymore. I don't even know if we're friends-or whatever we were before-anymore, and the thought of that hurt and scares me. For the short time that I've known him, I've come to see a different side to him, a side I actually liked. When he lets his guard down, he can actually be kind of sweet, funny and thoughtful. I found myself looking forward to his company after class. Talking to him became a daily necessity for me. The topics didn't even need to be deep or personal.

And that's not even saying how he makes me feel physically. When it comes to Ross, I like him touching and holding me, I even come to crave it. I don't understand how I don't feel any fear or panic with him. Maybe it's because I started to see him differently after that night that he saved me. Despite his temper and gruff attitude, I felt at ease around him and safe. With him I felt free of my fears and panic rising, and I wanted to explore it more, but I don't know if that will ever happen now.

I regret going to his uncle's house, but in hindsight I didn't think a simple dinner would lead to him yelling at his uncle and storming out of his house. I just wish he would talk to me again so I can understand why he is so mad, and so we can go back to how we were before...... but I don't know if that's possible now. Going to his uncle's must have brought back some painful memories that he's kept buried for a long time, and I just forced him to relive them.

I am hoping that if I give him time and space to work out his feelings that he might come back. I just have to wait, be patient and see what happens.

I'm just really hoping that he comes back to me.

"Do you think anyone else will come this Christmas?" Holly asks, just as we merge onto the freeway.

I look over at her. "No, I don't think so. If anything, our cousin might visit with her family, but we'll see if that happens or not." Our cousin would often come to spend Christmas with us at our parents' house if her parents were too busy with work to celebrate with her. Her parents may not be as rich as ours were, but they still had enough money to be accepted into all the high social classes and special events held for all the higher-class people, but her parents are by no means different than ours because of that. I think having money ruins people because Rachel's parents can be just as cold and distant as ours can be, but at least they let Rachel make her own decisions instead of forcing her to do something she may not or may not want to do.

I guess the very wealthy ones with big successful companies can afford to demand more from their offspring.

"Well, we can only hope. Otherwise, it's going to be a long, boring ass week." Holly says, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I smile. "Well, you know dad just might take us to a few of his Christmas business parties." I laugh at Holly's horrified look.

"Yeah, I think I'll pass." she says.

"Hey, at least you have a choice to go or not. Father is going to end up dragging me to at least one of those events, I'm sure." I groan as I remember all the company parties and fundraisers, he's taken me to in the past, not to mention all those people I'm usually forced to meet and mingle with. I hate having to make polite conversation with all those snooty, uptight people. Half the time I usually end up just standing in a corner, trying to stay away and avoid a conversation with everyone there. I really don't think any of those people at any of those parties really knows how to have a good time, unless that includes doing drugs or cheating on your spouses..... or both.