Loving the Campus Monster

Chapter 33(Home again)

  Laura

My heart beats frantically in my chest as I drive up the entrance to Lake Artemesia. It is late now; the sky is dark with just a few stars in the dark sky. When Holly and I got back two hours ago, I first went to the cabin to see if Ross was there, but he wasn't. All I found was a broken lamp shattered on the floor and a coffee table that had been turned over in the middle of the living room. Worried now that something might have happened to him, I drove around looking for him.

He wasn't anywhere at the university or at his uncle's house. When I asked, his family said they had not seen him in days. Not knowing what else to do I sat in my car, in his uncle's driveway, trying to think of where he might be, and that's when the Lake came to mind. That's the only place I figured he might go to. I remember I found him there once before. He always seems to go there when he's feeling alone and rejected by the world.

Like he's most likely feeling now.

With a destination in mind, I set off for it. On the way I couldn't help but feel worried and nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect, and neither was I clear on what exactly it was that I hoped for, coming back here. My memories keep alternating between the loving, caring Ross I have come to know and the cold-blooded one who hurt me five years ago.

Thinking back on my time with him, I'd had caught glimpses of the angry monster in him many times. I had witnessed the battle that raged in him, bubbling up to the surface every now and then. Most of the time he let it rein free, especially around his uncle. So, I know of his struggle.

I am not sure whether there is any hope for us to put our past behind us, or if there even could still be an us.

What I do know is that I ran from him in hurt in disappointment. Too much passion and too many emotions were coursing between us when I confronted him- he never got a chance to explain or apologize.

A sense of deja vu hits me as I drive down the familiar dirt road with the trees on either side of me and leaves blowing in the wind. The man who let me in the park before didn't think twice to let me in again even though it was closed. I hope that meant that Ross was here. I remember coming here to find him the first time, so he could explain himself to me. I hate that I broke my promise to him yet again. But in my defense, this is nothing like the last time I confronted him. I have every right to be upset with him for not telling me who he was. Especially when he knows how much that night has haunted me. But then again.... that's precisely why he didn't tell me.

But if the pain I had glimpse in him was real when I left, he had his own demons to exorcise still, and I am coming back ready to listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I find Ross in the same spot as before. Standing on the rock overlooking the lake, looking down at it with his back towards me. It would be hard to spot him since his black clothes blend into the darkness around him, but his blonde hair sticks out, like a beacon in the dark, leading me back to him.

I just need to figure out if I'm going to stay.

A cold breeze blows by making me shiver and rub my arms. It's cold but not so cold that I can't stand it. Luckily, I have a thick coat on to keep the chill back. Ross has on his hoodie he usually has me wearing. Seeing him in it makes me wish I was wearing it now. To have his familiar scent surrounding me, comforting me. I really need it at time like this.

I slowly walk up towards him. He seems to be deep in his thoughts, too deep to hear me apparently since he doesn't react to my presence.

I get right up to him and reach my hand out. I hesitate for a moment before I touch his shoulder. "Ross."