My Life Before You

Chapter 28

Bucky's POV

I looked down at my beautiful family. Y/n was sitting on my lap, with both boys on her's. She laid against my chest, her eyes closed and a soft smile on her face. Max and James talked to me about random things that any 5 years olds talk about.

I kissed the twins on their heads then leaned down and kissed y/n on her cheek. Her eyes opened and her smile faded away. She looked at how we were sitting and it was like reality slapped her in the face. She removed the boys from her lap and got up from mine. I wanted to reach my arms out and stop her. I wanted to pull her back to me and just hold her, but I had a feeling she wouldn't let me.

She put the boys back on my lap and went to walk away, but Max stopped her. "Mama!", he shouted. "Inside voices Max", she said. "Oh, sorry", his tone was lower. He jumped up from my lap and went over to     y/n. He grabbed her hand and started to pull her away. "Come on, Mama. I wanna show you the drawing that I made while you were gone", he said excitedly.

"Okay", y/n turned back to me. "Um, i'll be back". I nodded my head. Max then dragged her down the hall to what I'm assuming is their room. Now it was just James and I.

"Dad...", he said in a whisper. My heart skipped a bit at hearing him call me that. It took everything in me not to start crying. "Yes?", I answered.

"You promise to protect Mama?", he asked. "Of course, i'll protect her, you and Max"

He nodded his head and looked back down. We sat quietly and I listened to Max and y/n from the room. Suddenly James started to giggle. "Why are you laughing", I asked.

He turned to me with a slight smile. "Mama, likes you". I was surprised at what he said that it took a moment to comprehend it. "And you know that how?"

He giggled once more. "Because she told us once"

I raised an eyebrow. "She did?"

"Mhm! She said she loves you this much!", he then spreads out his arms widely as if he was going to give someone a hug. "You wanna know a secret", I whispered. He nodded his head excited. "I love her twice as much", I smiled.

Another giggle came. "I can't wait to tell, Mama!", he jumped off me and started to run away, but I quickly got up and caught him. I picked him up from the ground and sat him on my hip. "No, don't tell her. It's gonna be a secret between us, okay?"

"Okay", James said back in a whisper.

As much as I wanted y/n to know how much I still love and care for her I don't think right now is the perfect time to tell her. I will soon though. I've lived long enough without her.

I walked James into the room Y/n and Max were in. The room had a bunk bed pressed into the wall with tons of stickers all over the frames. The walls were covered with drawings from the boys. On the floor had action figures, legos, and other toys. Y/n and Max sat in the middle coloring a page from a coloring book.

Noticing us y/n turned to the door way. "Perfect timing", she said. "It's time for bed"

The boys groaned at the same time. "I don't wanna!", they whined in unison. Y/n laughed. She walked over and grabbed James from me. "They tend to say things at the same time"

She lifted James up and he crawled to the top bunk. Max ran over and dove into the bottom. Y/n kissed them both on the head. "Goodnight boys. I love you"

"Goodnight Mama. Love you", they said unison, again.

It was then my turn to do the same. Afterwards we left and went into the living room.

It was so quiet. The only sound being the cars that drove past the apartment. I watched as she silently picked up some toys from the living room floor and
put them in a box.