𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞, Regulus Black

eight

[I don't know what the future may hold but I know who holds the future]

• • •

"What do you want to do after graduating?", Velda hated that question.

Go shopping? Throw a party? How would she know? By all means, she could be dead tomorrow.

There were too many things she wanted to do or to be. Therefore, she had always avoiding thinking about it like a plague, it would only frustrate her more. But as her time at Hogwarts was ticking, she couldn't help but deal with the problem.

It's not like she had no plans, the problem was to choose or to find a way to do it all.

Velda's life was pretty much painted with discrimination and not only because of her skin colour. People always found a way to make her life a living hell; her clothes, her hair, her gender, her skin, her blood. It was a never ending list of hate.

And therefore, her goal seemed to be simple; reduce discrimination. She wasn't dumb, she knew she couldn't end it. But how would you even do that? And how could this be something to earn enough money for a living with?

Velda had searched for jobs in the wizzarding, as well as in the muggle world. Yes, there were a few jobs that seemed to fit at least a little bit but it was never enough.

Yes, being an Auror would mean that she could fight against death eaters, against evil. But how would she use this job to fight for Black rights?

Yes, being a Black rights activist would mean that she could fight against racists, against evil. But how would she use this job to fight for woman rights?

Velda knew that she wanted too much but she couldn't help but be greedy. She wanted to do something but nothing was enough. As much as she wanted to change her mindset, she couldn't.

Or did she simply not wanted it bad enough?

Velda was absolutely frustrated. She was sitting in the library, every possible book she could find about career options was sprawled in front of her. Chester was sitting in front of her, doing his charms homework. About two hours ago he had told her that she was the biggest control freak he had ever met, after that he had turned towards his work and hasn't stop writing ever since. He seemed rather tense these past few weeks but Velda simply shrugged it off, blaming the several attacs on muggles and muggleborns.

Velda couldn't help but be reminded of the Backwards theory that Ada had told her about years ago.

"The Philosopher Alan Watts," she had said, "referred the Backwards theory as the need for positive experience as a negative experience."

She had explained, that pursuing something would only reinforce the fact that you lack something in the first place. So the more you desperately want to be pretty, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual appearance.