Sarcasm and a Bad Joke

One

Smut Warning

Emily's POV
She did it. She actually did it.

A couple days ago

"We should go out for drinks!" Penelope was saying. JJ smiled and looked at me and we joined in. "I'm assuming I'm the sober cab?" Hotch asked.

"Dad we can just go to the bar with the drunk bus and have us dropped off at Rossi's." Penelope laughed. "Then let's go!" He added.

We all piled into JJ's minivan, Rossi drove to his house, we picked him up and went to the bar. That way we could get JJ's car in the morning. Morgan grabbed us a round of shots to start before we sent Hotch to get our drinks.

The old men each got an old fashioned, Derek got a gin and tonic, Spencer got something that tasted like it had no alcohol. Pen, JJ and I each got something fruity with vodka. I don't know what it was but it was good.

The night went on and by now everyone was drunk. I sat by Reid at the table while everyone else was dancing. Garcia and Morgan were holding each other up, Rossi was flirting with his next wife and Hotch kinda just bounced. JJ looked over to the table and we made eye contact.

She winked and ran off to the bathroom, I followed after pulling Reid on the dance floor. I snuck away and closed the bathroom door behind me.

I was immediately pushed against the door by JJ, locking the door and taking off my shirt, not breaking our kiss. I picked her up and put her on the sink while trying to get her top unbuttoned.

She laughed when I couldn't get it and it sent chills down my spine. "Just rip it off." JJ said, not able to do it either. I pulled the shirt over her head and started to kiss down her neck.

The rule was no visible marks so I left light hickeys on her collarbone. JJ pushed us off the sink and trapped me in the corner. Her hands slowly ran down my back and onto my belt, which she quickly undid.

She unbuttoned my jeans with one hand and put the other on my neck. The light pressure gave me a jolt of life and I started to undo JJ's pants. I sat her back on the sink and pulled her jeans to her knees.

JJ nodded and I left kissed up her thighs. She grabbed at my hair and I started eating her out. She bit her lip and covered her mouth, trying to stay silent. Her legs started to shake and that's when I stopped.

She pulled her jeans back up and flipped us around. "My turn" she whispered. I went fucking feral. She dipped her hand down my pants and slowly started drawing circles on my clit.

Not stopping, she stuck two fingers in and started curling them at a slow pace before pick up. Jennifer fucking Jareau has magic fingers. She let my finish on her fingers before sticking them in her mouth.

I was going to kiss her again when someone tried to open the door. We were dressed and went to our after plan immediately. JJ leaned over a toilet and I went to hold her hair back after unlocking the door.

"Oh my god. That was literally me last night." A drunk girl laughed. JJ and her started talking before she left.

I know bathroom bar sex is gross and whore like, but I'll will always be a whore for JJ.