Sarcasm and a Bad Joke

Ten

Homophobia and slurs in the chapter. (one more time im gay.)

Emily's POV
"JJ, what does Will say about me?" I asked when the case was over. I was sitting in her office as we finished up work. I hadn't slept since she told me. I needed to know what he said.

"Emily, it won't help. It'll only hurt." She tried saying but I shook my head. "I have to know."

She needed and took a breath. "He called you things. Like homophobic things." She never made eye contact with me the whole conversation.

"Ah. Those things. Cool." I said. I quickly finished the page of notes I had and stood up. "Well I should get going." I was out the door before she could say anything.

When you grow up in different countries it's hard to remember who you are. You try things. And living with a mother like mine you hear things, words. My first girlfriend, Mila, she was amazing. We were in Greece when I was 16 or 17 and I spent every day with her. One day my mom saw my kiss her and she called me all sorts of things.

I tried to talk to her but it all kept coming back. Mila and I broke up soon after and my mom moved us away quickly after that.

"Emily wait. What happened?" I heard as I waited for the elevator. Shit. "Growing up with a mother like mine, I've been called those before."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you. Fuck. I'm sorry." She said. I shook my head. "Your good. I just now know how he is."

"He's not like that. He's nice and funny." She tried defending. I shook my head again. "If someone feels the need to call someone fag or dyke Jennifer, he isn't nice. I didn't do anything to him." I said before taking the stairs. I left Jennifer at the elevator.

The next morning I avoided her at all costs. Derek noticed me walk past her and I shook my head. It meant don't ask.

Jennifer walked over with some files and tried to make small talk but we both ignored her. At lunch he leaned over and poked me with a pencil.

"Spill Prentiss. Why are we ignoring JJ?" He whispered. "We aren't doing anything. I didnt ask you to ignore her." I said not looking up.

"Emily, when you shook your head it meant something. Spill." I groaned and finished writing my sentence.

"When she blew up at me I asked why. Will doesn't like me and says things about me. Last night, I asked what he says. And she told me." I said.

"He says those things." I nodded and bit my lip. I had never needed to come out to Morgan. It was a mutual understanding that I was gay and it was always easier to talk with him.

"And she defended him. I said I now know how he is and she defended him. She said he's nice and funny." I said, trying not to cry.

"Nice people don't say those things. I think I'm losing her Derek." I whispered. He pulled my chair over and gave me a hug. "We don't have any cases, lets go visit Pen." He said. I nodded and he walked me to her office.

We spent our lunch break going over everything, trying to talk me down. I finished eating and left to go work.

"Em can we please talk?" I heard as I walked past her office. I grudgingly turned and closed the door behind me.

"What did I do? You aren't talking to me, eyes are on me as I walk anywhere, you're calling me Jennifer. What happened?" She asked.

I stood there frozen for a second. "You defended him. Instead of doing anything about him calling me homophobic names, you defended him."

JJ looked down and nodded. "I know." She whispered. "No you don't. I am a lesbian Jennifer. Your best friend is a lesbian. And you allow your boyfriend to call me those things. How can I trust you?"

"Jen I have told you about my past, my mother, you are my safe space. My safe person. And it feels like you are picking him over me. I am losing you."

"You aren't losing me. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there. I'm just so scared." She sighed. "About what Jen? Scared of what?"

She got physically uncomfortable and held her arms. "Emily you weren't the first girl I've done things with." She stated. "I'm bisexual. I have been since I was a teen."