We Really Need To Stop // ImAllexx

Unhealthy Obsession

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go!" I grinned with a new spark of determination to try and enjoy the night.

"Okay, let's gooooo!" Nadia went ahead of me, her glamorous dress bouncing above her white and gold shoes. The security guys checked our IDs and stamped our hands. It all began to feel like any ordinary night out in London. That helped. I took in a deep breath and then instantly regretted it. I really hated the smell of vodka.

"Hey!" A familiar deep voice called out and patted me so hard on the back that I nearly spat out my vodka (I had no choice) and orange juice all down my now-beloved polaroid rainbow longsleeve.

It didn't take me long to form attachment to things, did it? Now I was debating not returning it after all...

"Callie! Seems like it's been forever, how're things with you and Nadia? You still doing the band?"

"Hey James! Nah we aren't doing the band anymore, we're focusing on Nadia's clothing store and I'm trying to do some stuff with graphic design and illustration but.. Yeah it's been okay ahah... Isn't this year fucking shit though?" I still couldn't breathe normally or keep my eyes in one place, I was sure I saw Dan and Phil sneaking off somewhere outside. I wished I could join them. Anywhere but here in this crowded room...

James laughed and looked at me with his deep-set ocean eyes that I didn't know I'd missed.

"Yeah, it's been pretty shit, but we're here and we're surviving ain't we haha?" He ran a hand through his dyed blonde hair and scanned the room.

How did he always manage to maintain this Australian surfer dude look when he's an illustrator and singer from Birmingham? I guess that's his secret I'll never know. I giggled to myself.

"Let's sit down. I dunno about you, but I'm knackered!"

James stretched his I-go-to-the-gym-every-other-day arms behind his back as he walked me over to a sofa.

Being beside James gave me some sense of comfort in the now spinning room, full of people I mostly knew only from behind my iPhone screen.

I almost wanted to hold onto his arm and fall asleep right there and then on the plastic-y fake leather couch. Maybe I should have. That probably would've been a better option.

"How come you're here anyway, isn't it a bit far from home?" I mused, staring out across the sea of people and trying to discern if the song playing was Panic! At The Disco or Fall Out Boy... I was ashamed to admit I still got the two confused and I wouldn't want to make that mistake - not in front of James who was an avid fan of both.

"Nah, I live in London now, it was just more convenient for picking up jobs in Graphic Design and that, I'm sure you'd know," he elbowed me and I smiled finally. This party really did seem like a chore after all. And I hadn't been able to see that gorgeous smile I'd been dreaming of... I had to stop thinking about Alex, ugh. I shook my head at myself.

It was borderline an unhealthy obsession and I don't even know what I'd talk to him about anyway. Lil Peep? I shook my head again - remembering the things he said about Lil Peep that upset me, trying to shake them out of existence.

Besides, where was Nadia? I realised she had all our business cards in her bag and I really wasn't doing any networking. I could let myself down but... I would be mad at myself if I let her down. Even though she told me to have fun, I wanted to try and help out with our business. And I certainly wasn't having fun.

"Everything okay?" James seemed genuinely concerned at me spacing out.

"Yeah, yeah... sorry. I'm - just a bit tired," I half-lied and started to try and see if I could see Nadia or... No, I shouldn't.

"Hmm, seems like you're thinking about someone or something," he teased and I just laughed helplessly.

"Maybe..." I stood up and stretched. "I'm happy to see you well, let's catch up more often, yeah?" I smiled at James and he smiled back, before pulling his phone out of his jeans' pocket.

"Sure, let's keep in touch! Take care Callie!" He gave me a small wave and I set off, disappearing into the crowd of people gathered around the bar.