Masquerade

Twentyfour: Demons lurk in the dark corners of life

Hey guys, its me once again with a new chapter, just a warning beforehand, a bit more dark chapter, mentioning of self-harm, homophobia and some blood stuff. Also a quick thanks to all of you for 15k views and 600 likes, even if I am god late for uploads, you endure, thanks.Hope everyone got a good week so far.

My fingers tremble as they search for the lighter in my pockets.
It has to be here, somewhere here

You ruined it

"I didn't, she did it herself, what should I do?"

"Follow behind"

I run a hand through my hair, cold sweat on my forehead, ait feels feverish, I don't dare looking anywhere else but the setting sun, the last bit of light slowly vanishing.
My lips put more pressure on the end of the cigarette, like it's the only thing helping my sanity now.

Ruined it again, Noceda, like always

My breath seems to get shorter with every pull of air into my lungs, the "Shut up" wont even come out, my chest feels tighter with every thought rushing through.

Isn't he right?
I could have followed her, reassured her, but I chose to sit there like a dumbass, letting her go.

Don't you want to show everyone your true self? A faggot, godforsaken, there is no salvation now

"As if you would go to fucking heaven, psycho",

I can tell you how hell feels like, but I think, you will soon find out

I finally find my lighter in the pocket of my jacket, fumbling around with the flint wheel, no good flame really comes to live, my patience running low with every failed turn.
The little sparks of it hitting metal slowly became the only spark of light in the room.

In a fit of rage I first tighten my grip around this fucking piece of shit of metal and throw it in a volley into the corner of the room.
My breath becomes ragged, I spit the untouched cigarette onto the ground and barely can restrict myself from stomping on it.
I just need to calm down, bring my thoughts away from this dark hole.

Maybe just a little sleep will help, there should still be some pills left, no remedy against the nightmares, but at least something, some peace.
Fishing the little orange tube out of my backpack without looking up is way easier than thought, just strip of some clothing, I can shower tomorrow morning, just don't look up.
While laying down in bed I try to get rid off these thoughts, abandonment, I didn't abandon her, she ran away.

Ran away from me?

The last thought that comes through as a light mist captures my mind in a net, taking everything with it, all this pain, all this pain

Tranquility

Just a creak of a floorboard, a dripping like someone forgot to close the faucet.
I sleepily wake up, looking around the room, until I spot the broken lighter in the corner of the room, its bright yellow plastic glowing in the dark.
I want to turn my eyes further right, but somehow I can no longer avert my eyes from this corner, my whole body just feels frozen up.

Another thing you ruined, such fine piece of cheap consumerism

A hand reaches out from the shadows, enveloping the broken tool, I can only watch as it lifts it up and vanishes for a short time, only to emerge again.

Drip

The hand claws into the wall, pulling more forward, a second arm coming out of the void, a body suddenly falling forward from the shadows, hitting the floor with a wet thud.
It sluggish straightens itself up.

Drip

Dark Boots that seem to blend in with the dark night, the camouflage washes away in the darkness of the room, only the lighter skin of a scar on his cheek is seen shimmering in the night

Drip

And then there is this white fabric hanging around his neck, just like a scarf that doesn't fit in with the whole outfit.

Drip

Still remember me? It was a long time since we met

Drip

"You are dead, long dead, just a trick off my mind, just ..."

He makes a step forward, the boot splashes some liquid around as he meets the floor, a sickening squishy sound, the little pool around him seems expanding with every little drip, every drop leaving his torso from this wet spot on his clothing.

Shouldn't you also be long dead? But here we are

With careful, tender movements he unwinds the scarf from around his neck. His steps are heavy, the sounds echoing around in the room.
Now wielding the fabric in his hands, he gets closer to me, I just want to run, scream, but I am still frozen in spot.

You got mercy, forgiveness, you are the architect of your own demise, little Luz

He surpasses me, my body still numb, my mind racing, the white fabric takes my vision for a second until it lies around my neck.
With a sudden jerk I am thrown backwards, the fabric tightening around my neck, taking my breath, my position forcing me to look into his face.

A grimace of hate, his mouth seems warped, a grin stretching cheek from cheek, unliving black orbs as eyes, staring down at me. With a creaking his mouth opens, exposing a row of crooked teeth.

Pay up!

I jerk up from my bed, my heart racing, falling down onto the floor, everything drenched in darkness, my body screams for air, flooding my with adrenaline.
Like an instinct I scramble on all fours over the floor, losing my balance more than once, meeting the floor hard.
But I finally reach it, my backpack, I just need it now, it will end this nightmare.
Like a maniac I throw things out of it until I find it, the black sheath, the leatherbound handle.
Getting it out is more luck than actual work, but after some butterfingered tries, the blade glows ghostly in the light, drenching it in the colors of the window.
I get rid of my top, throwing it to the darkness like a bone to a dog.
I lift up my left breast a bit, just another cut to the three, bought freedom, I inhale sharply, setting the cold blade to the warm skin, this will be the last one.

Suddenly a unexpected force pulls my right hand with the knife away from my chest, a hand wraps around my body, pulling me back.
The knife is yanked out of the palm of my hand, sliding other the floor, getting lost in the dark.
Slipping around, I start a last ditch attempt to get free, with the power of a desperate animal I try to fight back, but every attack is either blocked or stopped from even start..

Everything is over, hopeless, I sink into myself, falling into the arms of the intruder, who seems to embrace me, hugging me tight, whispering something to me, cradling my body.
I am lifted up and carried past bright orange lights, down some stairs.
Until I am really sure again what is happening, I sit in the kitchen, a blanket around my topless body, a cup of what I think is hot chocolate in front of me, together with Eda.
I evade her looks, looking down onto the table.
"We don't have to talk it now, but I want at least some truth, okay?", she asks, her gentle voice doesn't seem to carry anger or disappointment, I just nod.
Averting my eyes away from the table, to leastways look into her direction, or what she laid infront of her.

The knife, sheathed and it, the coin, my coin.
"So where do you found it?", she asks, so gentle, so silken,
"Found it", I press out, she only sighs, making her way around the table.
Her hand turns my headd with a fond movement to meet her eyes,
"I will not punish you or scream at you, I just want to help you, be the person I never had, you are just like me, to proud to admit what's wrong, just out of fear that everyone will treat you like a child for your mistake, but I am here for you, I will be forever".
Every ounce of power leaves my power, letting myself fall into her arms, she seems surprised at first, but embraces my hug. It feels safe, no judgement, no lies in here voice, real understanding.
And I let loose, crying while she hugs me and pets my back.
I don't have to play strong anymore, it feels so much like when everything was okay.
He still stands in the dim corner, looking over to me, a tin soldier.