Fighting the War (previously known as "Falling")

Chapter 14

     I couldn’t help the tears falling down my eyes as sat on the side of the tub in the bathroom staring at the little pink plus sign. How could Ky and I have been so stupid?

     I tried to think back to the times we had made love, and I never remembered us using any protection. I was going to be a mom before my senior year was up and I had no idea what I was going to do. Or rather what I was going to tell Ky when I talked to him in three hours.

     At first I thought that the reason I had been getting sick lately is because I was crying so much. But I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t shed another tear over Ky leaving for Iraq. So when I woke up Saturday and Sunday morning puking my guts out, I got worried.

     The more I thought about it the faster I came to the realization. I was late… I was supposed to start my period the week after we got back from Florida. I had been so caught up thinking bout how much I missed Ky that I hadn’t realized that I was late.

     I was trying to make a decision on when I should tell my mother. Should I tell her now and get it over with, or should I wait until I start showing. Either way she wasn’t going to be happy. I just knew I was in for the fight of my life.

     I hadn’t told Lara yet either. She knows that I’m late but that’s it. Lara doesn’t know that I have already taken the test, and confirmed that sure as shit, I’m pregnant.

     I grabbed the pregnancy test and headed back towards my bedroom door. Only a few more hours and I could let someone else in on our secret. Someone I hoped wouldn’t leave me.

     I know he probably wouldn’t be able to get here for the babies birth, but at least he would be able to be here as a father after a year. Or at least I hoped he would.

     I was so exhausted from crying and school that I needed some time to just relax. Get myself ready for the event that was probably going to make my life unfold further.

     Two hours later and it was five-fifteen. I sat myself down in front of my computer and made sure to have the pregnancy test near by.

     Mom had asked if she could join me when I talked to Ky, but I had told her that I wanted it to just be us this time, and that I would introduce them the next time we talked. I was really happy that my mother was excited for Ky and mine’s relationship.

     Sure enough right at five-thirty my computer lit up asking if I wanted to accept a call on Skype.

     As soon as I pressed Answer my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. There in front of me was Ky, in all of his beautiful glory.

     “Hi baby.” He said in a small voice. “You have no idea how good it is to see your face.”

     “Ky, I’ve missed you so much!” I all but shouted. It didn’t take much for me to start crying again.

     “Oh sweetie don’t cry, it’s alright.” He whispered.

     “I know I’m just so happy to see you unharmed.” I said through tears. “So how long do we get to talk?” I asked.

     “We get up to an hour.” He whispered. It wasn’t enough but it would have to do for now. I missed him something terrible and I wasn’t going to ruin it by crying the whole time.

     I decided while I was already crying I would go ahead and get our big news out of the way, or at least news that was sure enough going to make him leave me.

     “So, I have something to tell you.” I said to the screen.

     I watched as Ky’s emotions changed from happy to worried in a split second. I must have an easy face to read.

     “What’s wrong?” he questioned.

     “Nothings wrong, just promise you won’t leave me.” I whispered.

     “Natalie, why would you say something like that, nothing in this world could make me want to leave you. I love you way too much.” He responded.

     “Well you probably won’t love me after this.” I said while reaching over and grabbing the pregnancy test. “It’s just easier if I show you.” I whispered.

     I slowly lifted the test to the screen the positive side facing me. I watched as his expression changed from worry to shock. I slowly turned the test over to reveal what he already knew was on the test. “Ky…”I whispered his name. “We’re going to have a baby.”

     Ky didn’t say anything at first, he just stared at the screen.

     The things going through my mind were far worse than what I ever could have imagined. He was going to leave me; he was going to drop me for the next best thing.

     So you can imagine the shock I’m sure that came across my face when he started crying. “Oh Nat, I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

     “Ky what do you have to be sorry for, this is as much my fault as it is yours.” I said.

     “No I’m not sorry I got you pregnant. Well I am sorry for that, but I’m happy about that. I’m just really sorry that I’m not going to be able to be there for you.” He whispered.

     “That’s okay, as long as you don’t leave me I can deal with a few months by myself with a baby.”

     “I know you can that’s exactly why I love you, because you’re so strong. And how could you ever think I would leave you over something like this. Do you really think that little of me?”

     “No I don’t think little of you at all, I just had to brace myself for the entire situation; and that included you leaving me.” I whispered.

     “I would never leave you Nat. Seriously you could probably cheat on me and I wouldn’t have the guts to leave you. I love you way to much to lose you. Also that’s not an invitation for you to go out and cheat on me.” He chuckled.

     “Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I would never cheat on you, because I love you too.” I said with a smile.

     After that we talked for the rest of the hour about how he wanted it to be a little girl, and names that we both kind of liked. As scared as I was an hour ago, I was relieved that he hadn’t been upset about it.

     Saying goodbye again had been one of the hardest things to do but he promised me we would be able to talk again on Saturday.

     Ky had told me he had already sent his next letter out in the mail and it should be here sometime in the next few days.

     I made my way to my bed and laid down on my purple silk sheets. I couldn’t help but smile, because not only was I happy, but I was carrying a baby made with the man I loved more than anything on this planet.