A Part Of Me // Dreamnap

4

"I— I'm sorry for doing this. I didn't mean to think about him. It just happened. And sorry for crying on your—"

"Dream," Karl interrupted. "It's alright. You don't have to apologize for anything, okay?"

Dream slowly nodded before looking away.

That's what Sapnap would've said.

"How did you deal with Kaden? You know, when you guys..." Dream stopped there. He knew Karl would understand.

"Well," Karl started "It was different."

Dream hummed.

"Kaden wasn't an asshole. He didn't do what Sapnap did."

"Sapnap isn't an asshole," Dream sputtered out.

Silence filled the air.

He didn't understand why he had still been defending him. The brunette has been the one making him cry, making him feel worse about how he's been the past few days. But yet, there's still something urging him to keep Sapnap loved.

There's something urging him to make sure the one that hurt him is still okay.

"I don't know— just continue." Dream muttered, and Karl was quick to listen.

"Right," he said before going on.

"Well um, Kaden didn't hurt me. I mean— yeah I was hurt when we broke up, I loved him," Karl chuckled, "But he didn't hurt me. It was the loss that hurt. But after all we still became friends so I suppose it wasn't much of a loss after all."

The loss.

Dream had a massive loss in his life.

It was Sapnap.

"But you got over it," Dream said, a hint of a question in his voice.

"Yep," Karl popped his lips as he finished speaking.

That was Dream's problem.

No matter how long he waited, he didn't know if he could get over it as long as he'd be alive. He didn't think that he'd ever be capable of doing so.

"But," Karl spoke up, interrupting Dream's thoughts, "I don't want you to focus on him. Focus on yourself, got it?"

Dream didn't smile nor did he keep a straight face. His lips curled into a small frown, and his eyes looked to the floor.

"Got it," be replied.

—————

Sapnap sat down in the chair by his desk, rolling forward to get closer to his set up.

He brought his mic closer to his mouth, he made sure his volume was at perfect level, and he made sure that his camera was off.

Then, he hit go live.

Within seconds, the chat fills with kind messages and warm hello's.

He softly smiles, "Hi chat."

He talks to the chat for a moment before quickly switching to a game.

He was playing Minecraft, running around through trees and back in circles, reading any donations that came through.

"When is George coming to Florida?" The donation read.

Sapnap chuckled, "We told you guys we don't know a hundred times. Trust me, it'll happen."

He continued to run around as donations came in.

"How's the dreamnap homegym holding up?"

Another donation.

Sapnap's smile faltered. He didn't want to think about Dream at the moment. Streaming was a mere distraction so he could feel better.

He had no reason to feel bad, he fucked up himself. But the thought of hurting Dream pained him more than the thought of Dream ending things.

"It's good," he managed to speak without his voice wavering.

More and more donations came in, and eventually, Sapnap had to turn them off.

Repetitive question and words kept appearing, and it was driving Sapnap insane.

His eyes began flashing back and forth between the screen in front of him and chat, still interested in what people were saying.

Chat hadn't been saying anything interesting, and the stream started to get boring. His distraction hadn't been working, his attention being drawn more from the paper clip on his desk that he'd occasionally fidget with.

"Alright chat, I think it's about that time."

Chatters protested, but Sapnap quickly wrapped up the stream before ending, letting it change back to the simplistic offline screen.

He sighed, clicking on to the discord application.

George is online.

He's been apprehensive. The thought of talking to George with everything happening was scary. He knew he'd be chewed out by the brit, but he was scared that he'd lose George too.

He knew how quick the boy was to cut people off. Especially after hurting his friends.

And he hurt his best friend.

But his thoughts traveled further. What if he deserved to lose him too after what he's done. Maybe it's just karma for not only hurting Dream, but making the stranger who had been in his bed feel guilty for ruining a relationship.

And what made this really bad, Sapnap didn't even know their name.

Maybe he had been so desperate, and felt so obsolete that he had done what he did, but he knew that it would be a risky choice when going into it.

He ended up deciding it was worth it to call George. Maybe the brit could give him some advice, or talk some sense into him.

So slowly, he dragged his cursor over George's name, pressing down and starting a call.

It rang one, two, three times before George answered.

"Hello?" George spoke first.

Sapnap hesitated before speaking, "So do you know?" He started.

George yawned into the mic before responding, "Know what?"

Maybe he had been being sarcastic like Karl was. Maybe he was toying with Sapnap to really rub it in, to let him know that he messed up.

"You know, about Dream," Sapnap said, voice quiet and embarrassed as he spoke.

"What?" George said with a confused tone. "What happened to him, is he okay? What's up."

So he didn't know.

"Never mind," Sapnap spoke, clearer this time.

"No, tell me. Is he okay?" George asked, his voice more stern than before.

Sapnap hesitated. He didn't know what to say.

So he said what he thought would be right, what would make things easier for him in the long run.

"Yeah, he's good."

The lie slipped off of his tongue easily, and George hummed contently.

"Alright then, want to chat for a bit?"

Sapnap smiled, "Of course."