A Part Of Me // Dreamnap

13

TW: panic attack

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Dream ran out the door, Sapnap's knees buckled.

He didn't lean back and try to land on the couch behind him. He simply just let himself plummet to the floor, knees slamming against the cold hardwood planks.

"I hate you, I hate you," He whispered under subs. He had his hands balled into fists, clutching his hair so tightly that it hurt.

Even though he had been whispering to the non-existent presence of Dream, saying that he hated the blond, he meant anything but it.

"Fuck you, I hate you," he continued to whisper.

He began to pull at his hair, "Fuck you."

Now it was hard to differentiate if he was angered at himself or Dream.

Only one of them were in the wrong.

He let one of his hands undo the grip on his hair, hitting the floor with a tighter fist. He hit the floor again, and again, and again.

His knuckles were hurting, they'd surely be bruised by the next morning. But he kept pounding the floor with his fist.

"Fu— fuck you," he choked as he spoke. His lungs felt heavy.

It felt like a stack if bricks fell and landed on his rib cage, collapsing his lungs. He couldn't fucking breathe.

He was gasping for air, cries and sobs cutting off every breath he took, making his hyperventilating continue faster and longer.

Maybe it felt like drowning. Maybe it felt like he had run out of air after being submerged under meters of heavy waters of emotions. Every time he'd try to take a breath, to try and calm down, those emotions would pour down into his lungs, choking him out into this state of anger and despair.

He knew what he did as soon as the door slammed. He knew he gad gone too far. He knew he had just made things ten times worse. He knew he probably threw away his last chance.

"Help," the smallest, most obsolete whisper came from his mouth.

Nobody was there to help him but himself.

He takes a breath, he starts to drown again. His cries only become louder, breathing only becomes harder.

All he could hear was Dream's soft voice become a voice that'd haunt him forever. The voice that sounded so rough, so hurt; it was scary.

It was intimidating, frightening for Sapnap to hear.

He knew Dream couldn't have gone far. Looking outside the window, he could see the blond sat on the front sidewalk, head in hands.

Bang on the window and get him back. Let him help you breathe.

His mind was yelling at him to go ask Dream for help. He can see the other crying boy right there, just outside the window.

He didn't have the amount if strength to stand up right now. He started scooting on the floor, inching closer to the window by the second.

He finally approached the window, hitting on it once. He continued to sob, watching Dream's head turn towards the noise. He watched as Dream's eyes widened with worry before dashing back to the front door.

Sapnap was a mess. He didn't bother looking away from the window. He only let his body fall limp against it as he continued to choke for air, to try to breathe.

He could barely hear the door open. "Are you okay?" Dream rushed out.

Dream's voice was being drowned out by sobs, Sapnap was being drowned by emotions.

Dream curled his hands under Sapnap's armpits, trying to lift the other up.

But so much as listening to Dream's voice at that moment had been too much for him. "Hey c'mon it's okay, let's get up," Dream said. The upset tone in his voice was still lingering, but Sapnap was too overwhelmed to hear it— or to apologize for causing it.

"H—help me," Sapnap whispers.

Be felt like he was dying. Like every roof was falling, every wall was collapsing, every mountain was crumbling, every sky raining acids. It felt like his world was collapsing, like his heart was constricting so much that he'd just disappear into wherever people go when it's times.

It hurt. His chest hurt. His head hurt. His eyes hurt. His heart hurt.

He hurt Dream, so now he's hurting.

"I—I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." He hiccups between words, eyes screwed shut like bottle caps.

"It's okay now. I'm— okay. Now let's sot on the couch," Sapnap starts to stand.

His legs even feel heavy. It wasn't fair.

As soon as he saw the couch, he fell onto it. He shut his eyes again. This time, it was much softer.

"I'm sorry," he'd occasionally whisper before falling asleep in Dream's arms, laying on their couch just like old times.

When the door bell rang, Dream was scared that the younger would wake up. But the other didn't move a muscle. He probably didn't even hear it.

Dream slowly got up making sure not to disturb the other before walking to the door.

It was Punz. He completely forgot about Punz.

"You needed a ride. You good?" Punz says, an eyebrow raised in question.

Dream hesitates, "You've parked your car, right?" 

Punz nods.

"Can you stay with me for a bit? Sap is sleep on the couch."

"Of course. Let me just get me phone from the car and I'll be right in."

Dream nods, leaving the door cracked open before going back to sitting next to the sleeping brunette.

Things felt so wrong, but so right.