A Part Of Me // Dreamnap

19

TW: mentions of suicide (EMPTY THREAT)

—————

Play: Your Sister Was Right — Wilbur Soot (Optional)

Being okay was hard when you were missing the thing you need, Sapnap discovered.

Did he hurt Dream again? He couldn't tell. But he took the fault for himself. He was the reason Dream had stormed off. He knows he has to be.

He couldn't even bring himself to finish his food, standing up to make his way to the bin to scrape the remains of his food. After putting the dish away, he sits back at the dining table. Instead of just sitting there, he pulls out his phone.

He's calling Quackity again. He feels like crying about everything, but he knows it'd feel better to get everything off of his chest.

"Hey Sapnap," Quackity answers.

"Hey, do you have time to talk? It's about... the same situation," he says.

Quackity gladly accepts the offer to listen, telling Sapnap to hold on for a moment before he finally tells the other to go.

So Sapnap talks. He talks about it all. How Dream came home with those marks on his neck, how they argued, how he panicked, how he thought Dream was leaving him again, and how he supposedly caused Dream to storm off again minutes prior to the phone call.

Sapnap explains how he's never felt worse, how he's never regretted anything more than what he had done. How he didn't even realize how he had stopped loving Dream in the first place.

Some of the information Quackity had already heard before, from the first call they had made about this mess. But Sapnap needed to say it again. It felt heavy again.

He talked about the missed calls from Dream's sister that he had ignored. He hadn't been ready to have that conversation when the other had called.

But he could imagine what the conversation would be about.

He knew that the blond girl would insult him, would shame him, would confront him how he should be.

And it scared him.

Everything was scaring him. His thoughts that ran through his mind, especially.

"Quackity I don't know— I just— when I thought he was leaving again," tears were finally falling. It took longer than he had expected, "I missed him as soon as he left, and I— I could only imagine how much I hurt him. And it's hurting me," he says.

"I want to just kill myself— I swear," he says, his breath catching as he speaks.

It's an empty threat, he knows it. But it frightened Quackity to say the least. "Shit, man I think you're thinking about this too much," he suggest.

Even though Sapnap hadn't had any true intentions to end his life, it's the truth. He was thinking about it too much.

Sapnap excuses what the other says though, and proceeds to tell Quackity about how careful he had tried to be during the short amount of time him and Dream had together.

"I'm glad you listened," Quackity started. "But," of course there was a catch.

Sapnap wanted anything but for him to say that word. "But". He was doing something wrong. That's what that word meant for this situation. He isn't right yet. It's killing him.

"You have to be nice naturally," Quackity says, emphasizing the word. "You're trying hard, and that's— that's really good. I'm glad— and I'm sure he's glad about that," Sapnap shook his head to that. He knew Quackity wouldn't know, but Dream didn't think he was trying at all. It's crystal clear.