Madness Combat + Oc Incorrect Quotes

~• 11 •~

Hi it's been a hot minute since I've updated this little book. Just got a sudden burst to do some funny quotes. Also sorry if some quotes in these books are repeated, I just add it if I find it funny.

°'~ ~'°
Phobos: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Auditor: It's not water.
Phobos: Vodka! I like your sty-
Auditor: It's vinegar.
Phobos: ...What?
Auditor: It's vinegar, pussy.

°'~ ~'°
Sanford: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.
Deimos: All good bro, any time.
Sanford: Fuck you.

°'~ ~'°
Jebus: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.
Sheriff: I have that dream too, but you go in the other direction.

°'~ ~'°
Deimos: You have an impressive pain tolerance.
Phobos: Thanks, it's the trauma.

°'~ ~'°
Carter, skipping rocks on a lake with Auditor: It's such a beautiful evening.
Auditor: Yeah, it is.
Auditor, whispering: Take that you fucking lake.

°'~ ~'°
Carter: Sheriff, get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you?
Sheriff: 2B, Carter wants you to get out of the house.

°'~ ~'°
Auditor: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around
Tricky: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

°'~ ~'°
Sanford: And now for a gay update with Auditor and Carter.
Deimos: Getting gayer.
Sanford: Thank you, Deimos.

°'~ ~'°
Hank: Maybe the real minster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

°'~ ~'°
Tricky: I'm genuinely surprised you haven't gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.
Hank: Nat 20 Charisma.
Tricky: That is NOT how that works-

°'~ ~'°
Deimos: I find it very unseemly of Sanford to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?
Carter: Die. Let's find out.

°'~ ~'°
Hank: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?
Tricky: No, I said "Hank, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

°'~ ~'°
Sheriff: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Sheriff, playing monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

°'~ ~'°
Sanford: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?
Deimos: How did you know I was up until 3am?
Hank: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

°'~ ~'°
Auditor: You're an idiot.
Carter: That's the charm.

°'~ ~'°
2BDamned: Jebus, no.
Jebus: Jebus, yes.

°'~ ~'°
Phobos, setting down a card; Ace of spades.
Tricky, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Jebus, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Carter, trembling: What are we playing?!

°'~ ~'°
Hank: Forgive me Father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.

°'~ ~'°
Sanford: So anyways have y'all seen Carter?
2BDamned: I think he went in Deimos's room 'studying'.
Hank: Doubt that. I heard groans there.
Carter & Deimos, fighting:

°'~ ~'°
Carter: remember what I told you.
Auditor: Don't be a cunt.

°'~ ~'°
Auditor: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Hank: Yup.
Hank: Don't think you're special.