~• 6 but it's just Carter and Auditor •~

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A whole chapter dedicated to Carter and Auditor incorrect quotes because I'm fixated on them. These are all basically accurate to their relationship lol. This chapter is also much longer so yeah, it's 1k words-

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Auditor: I swear, no matter how long I've been friends with people, there's always someone who's surprised that I'm left handed.
Carter: You're left handed?!?
Auditor:
Auditor: *Punches a wall*

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Auditor: Is this perfume or soda?
Carter: *Chugs the entire bottle*
Carter: It’s perfume.

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Carter: Do you guys want to go to the haunted house this year?
Auditor: What’s wrong with the one we live in?
Carter: What?
Auditor: Bye.

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Auditor: *Is visibly upset*
Carter: Audi, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

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*Carter falls over*
Auditor: Carter! Are you alright?
Carter: Is that you, God?
Auditor: What?
Carter: It's just, you sound a lot more like Audi than I expected.

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Auditor: I failed my safety training course today.
Carter: Why, what happened?
Auditor: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Carter: And?
Auditor: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

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Carter: *In a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Auditor: *In the cell next to him* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

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Auditor: Don't worry, I have a few guns up my sleeves.
Carter: You mean tricks?
Auditor, shaking a small armory out of his sleeves: I did not.

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Carter: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Auditor: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Carter: You don’t have to wear…
Auditor: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

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Auditor: How long do you think it’ll take?
Carter: I don’t know, three or four.
Auditor: Three or four what?
Carter:
Auditor: Days? Weeks? Months?
Carter: Yeah, maybe five.
Auditor:
Carter:
Auditor: Five WHATS?!

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