Saturday Nights (BxB)| ✓

Call

Me: you wrote in my book.

Blue: And you texted me.

Me: and YOU WROTE IN MY BOOK.

Blue: is that a problem?

Me: Yes, it is. I had to rip out the page

Blue: it's one page, Alex.

My phone starts ringing. I immediately pick up.

"You wrote in my book."

I hear him sighing. "If that's all you're gonna say I'm hanging up."

"Why did you give me your number?"

"I wanted you to call me."

"I have, now bye."

He laughs. "Technically I called, so this doesn't count. Where are you?"

"At home."

"Where?"

"In bed."

"Mom and Dad there?"

Do I like where this is going?

"No, they went out with Andy. Can I come over?" The question falls from my lips and I instantly regret it.

"Miss me already?" He laughs. "I'm not home right now. Maybe when I get back."

"Oh, okay." I screw my eyes shut. Now what do I say?

"I can hear your heartbeat, Alex. You're scared even when I'm not there-"

"I'm not scared. And that's impossible."

"Is it? You want to see me again don't you? How often have you thought about our first kiss? And our second, and our third-"

"Zero times."

"Oh?"

"I haven't thought about them."

He laughs, again. "Well I have. Every single day. You're growing on me like a plague, Alexander. It's fucking annoying."

"If I'm so annoying why are we talking?"

"I didn't say you're annoying. My reaction to you is."

"What?"

"Fuck. You don't even know what you do, do you?

"I-"

"You look at me, Alex. You look at me like I'm...interesting."

"Interesting?"

"I don't know how to describe it, okay? Just... You've been doing it all these years in class. You did it when we first talked, at the beach, and you did it last night."

"I don't look at you like that."

"Really? Everybody in the fucking room can see it, Alex. Your face is an open book. I'm not complaining or anything, because I am a pretty amazing guy. But when you look at me like that, in the eyes, I get this major hard-on-"

"Oh my God, shut up"

"And it's a bitch to get rid of."

"Cold showers are heavenly this time around."

I hear him laughing and something shuffles. I think he's in bed too. "Oh, no no. I'd much rather have a nice, warm shower and jerk-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"What, Alex? Afraid of a little dirty talk?"

"Is this your way of trying to get me to admit I'm gay?"

"This is my way of telling you I'm trying to fuck."

I gasp, shuffling in my bed.

"But you've never been with a guy before, so I can be patient."

"I'm not gay."

"And I'm Lil Wayne."

"Greene."

"I told you, that night, that all that's left is you giving in. Give in, Alex." His voice is low and sensuous, I can hear him smiling as he says that. I know what he's trying to do.

"Stop it."

"Your friends think you're gay. I know you're gay."

"What if I'm bi?"

"Pitstop to Gaytown, my friend."

"You don't know that."

"I know it better than anyone. What did you think I first said to my family? Coming out was the hardest thing I've ever done. My dad almost beat me to death. Told me I was a disgrace to the family."

"I... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm being who I am and I'm happy about it. That's why I'm telling you to just come out. Pull the nail out and watch the would bleed before it heals-"

"What kind of-"

"You know what I mean. Step into the light, come out the closet, take an apple from that fruity basket."

"I don't know what half of that means."

"It means admit you're G-A-Y."

"I'm not-"

"If you say you're not gay one more time I'm hanging up and blocking you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I brought it up one time. To my parents. My mom looked like she was gonna have a heart attack and my Dad... He said he'd disown Andy and I if either of us turned out gay."

"Alex-"

"I won't lie to myself anymore, okay? I like you. A lot. I wouldn't have let you kiss me so many times if I didn't. But... But If I say it out loud, if I even think It, I might as well be... a homeless disgrace. My dad. He made it very very clear how much he disapproves. He's the definition of homophobic. He will kick me out. I won't see Andy ever again. I-"

"Hey, I understand. Trust me, I do. But what about everyone else who already supports you? Louise? Me? All I want you to do is say it, Alex. Say it, so I know all the shit I've been doing hasn't been for nothing.

"..."

"Alex."

"I can't, okay? I just- I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

I hear him scoff and he hangs up the call.

...

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