Saturday Nights (BxB)| ✓

Staying Out

...

I'm screwed. This isn't how I planned this. This is not how I planned for dad to find out. I stare at him wide eyed, while his are menacingly narrowed, a deep frown on his face. He's disappointed. He's fuming.

"Did you just kiss that boy?" He asks again, his voice dangerously low. This isn't going to end well.

If me just bringing it up was enough to have my dad threaten to disown me, what now? What's going to happen if I finally do tell him I'm gay?

"I did." I say. Surprisingly my voice isn't shaky, despite the fear I'm in right now. He lifts his eyebrows in surprise, as if he was expecting me to deny it, when he obviously saw me. I decide I've done enough denying. It hasn't gotten me anywhere, only hurt my friendship with Louise, and hurt me, for not being honest with myself.

Mom walks into the living room at that moment, first looking cheery, but her face drops when she sees both of our expressions.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, looking at me. I don't respond, Dad does.

"No. Everything is not okay. I'm reading the newspaper, minding my business, when I hear a car pull up to our driveway. I look out and what do I see? our son, making out with a boy."

To my surprise and horror, Mom doesn't look surprised. At all. Instead, she throws a sympathetic look my way, before looking at the floor. Her lack of response only seems to anger Dad even more.

"Did you know about this, Ellen?" He asks, finally removing his glare from me and to Mom.

"I had my suspicions." She says carefully, looking at her husband.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Why would I, Carter? Are you forgetting when you threatened to throw our children out that time Alex talked about it?"

Dad's eyes light with realization, as if he'd forgotten about that night. "I should've known," he shakes his head, clearly in disbelief. "I should've known. You were trying to come out that night, weren't you?"

"No, i-"

"I should've thrown you out then. Should've told you to pack your bags,"

"Carter!" Mom shouts, moving towards me. "He's staying here."

"Like hell he is! This isn't how I raised him. I raised my son to be a man. Not some faggot-"

"Dad-" I choke out, noticing the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"No." He points a finger to me. "You. Are not my son. I want you out."

"Alex, honey, go to your room," Mom says, touching my shoulder. I furiously wipe my tears and reach for my bag near the door.

"Chase me away, Dad. Disown me. It won't change how I am, or what I feel. I am gay. My only regret is that I didn't tell you sooner."

He glares at me then and shouts, "I want him out!" To Mom, who is now standing near him, telling him to sit down. I storm up the stairs into my room, slamming my door as hard as I can. I shouldn't be this hurt, this is what Dad said he would do. I should've expected this.

But still, it hurts to be rejected by your own family. As I sit on my bed my mind wanders back to Greene, how he rejected me, and fresh tears roll down my cheeks. Fuck.

I pull out my phone and call Louise.

"Hey, Alex, I've just-"

"I'm out."

A pause. "Out where?"

"Of the closet. I've picked a banana from the fruity basket. I've stepped into the light," my voice cracks as I speak, and I fist my hair, screwing my eyes shut.