implausible - woosan

chapter forty one

san wooyoung

07.09.17

anxious nausea swirls in wooyoung's gut as he makes his way out of the hall. he's sweating, from the energy exuded dancing, but now his nerves make him jittery.

hongjoong calling him surprised him, but he also allows himself a little naive hope. maybe his boyfriend has changed his mind, and wants to come to the dance with him. secretly, he wishes hongjoong would make it easier to be happy with him.

he's asked wooyoung to meet him outside the school, and that's where he's heading now. giddiness makes it slightly more difficult to navigate, but he does his best to hurry. he doesn't want to make hongjoong wait, no matter how much he'd rather stay dancing. with san.

there's stairs, outside the doors to the school. wooyoung doesn't feel like dealing with those right now, so he stops, waiting.

"wooyoung." hongjoong's voice startles him a bit, footsteps sounding to close in on him.

"hey!" he spins to face his voice, brandishing a hopeful smile. "what're you doing here?"

there's a beat of silence that spikes wooyoung's heartbeat before he replies. "do i need a reason?" his tone is defensive.

"no! you just- you said you didn't want to come." he scrambles for the reply.

"so you don't want me here?" hongjoong asks immediately, making wooyoung's face fall.

"that's not what i said!" he argues. "i do. that's why i asked you in the first place. i'm glad you're here."

"good!" whiplash. that's what it's like talking to hongjoong. "i'm here for you, though, even though i don't want to be, so i'm glad you're glad. i just didn't see how you'd be able to have a good time, y'know. but then i decided to come and save you from it all."

that makes wooyoung's heart sink. "i don't need saving," he says, voice small. "i'm actually having a really good time..."

"that's great, wooyoung." his voice is scathing, disingenuous. "i'm glad i'm so important to you."

now he's confused, because hongjoong's the one who didn't want to be here. who said it would be lame. as his soulmate, he should be happy for wooyoung, right? he's not sure when he implied that his boyfriend isn't important. he's been trying, so hard, to make it so he is.

"i can't— i don't know why you're being like this—" he tries, exasperated. "look, i just wanna go back to the dance, and have fun—"

"you can't not want to be with me, wooyoung. i don't want you to go back." he grabs at his sleeve, but wooyoung rips his arm away.

"i want to go back!" he exclaims, shutting his eyes. "i'm having fun."

things are escalating too quickly, and it's all stressing him out. he doesn't feel safe. but he can't leave, can't go back, when hongjoong just keeps going.

"have fun?" he goads, footsteps sounding again. "you're having fun, parading yourself around like a whore?"

that hurts. the chord strikes too true, and racks him with guilt. he's suddenly uncomfortable, wanting to cover himself up. every bit of skin on show feels like it's burning.