implausible - woosan

chapter forty four

i heard that you fell in love
or near enough
i gotta tell you the truth
i wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby snap out of it

wooyoung san

22.09.17

during the next two weeks, san does his best to bury himself in schoolwork, trying to absolve himself from all things jung wooyoung.

the key word here is trying, because it's really not nearly as easy as it sounds. without wooyoung, his world is dark gray, pointless. with him, it's burning red, purposed. love is that simple.

except love is not that simple at all, because sometimes love isn't enough. and san's almost willing to give up. give up trying for the more, and settle for the circle.

but something isn't right. he knows wooyoung, sometimes san thinks he knows him better than himself. and something is not right.

the feeling that he's been brushing off, that san had almost allowed himself to believe was delusion, gets clearer every day. and if the water of doubt was murky before, it's crystal now.

they are alone together, despite san's efforts. wooyoung is waiting for yeosang to drive him somewhere after a long day at school, and san just can't make himself leave yet. in honesty, his efforts are not all that vast.

"am i bad kisser?" wooyoung suddenly asks, turning his head to san where they're sitting together on the steps to the school.

"h-huh?" san stutters, startled by the random question.

it seems to have spurred from nowhere, and has san blushing, because no, of course wooyoung's not a bad kisser, and discussing it has him thinking about it—

"i am, aren't i? i'm not experienced enough. that's why hongjoong can't just like me..."

frozen, san has no idea why the blonde is rambling pitifully to him of all people about his relationship problems. that 'something is not right' feeling really comes into focus. there's no apparent reason or evidence to san's knowledge that hongjoong doesn't like the younger.

"you're not a bad kisser, wooyoung." he assures him carefully, trying to set boundaries.

eyes widening when wooyoung falls against him, san tenses. "you're lying!" he wails, shaking his head against san's neck. what.

it takes a lot of will power to keep his hands still. to not touch him. but they're in public, and that power prevails.

"i'm a bad kisser." he repeats with a pout, lifting his head dangerously close. his slurred statements dare him to act, to challenge it.

"no-" san begins to tell him again, but breaks off, his eyebrows furrowing. now that wooyoung is so close to him, he can smell the drink on him. he reeks of alcohol; suddenly his actions make sense. "are you drunk?" san asks, glancing down as the other boy smiles against his skin, breath tickling his neck.

"i think so."

sighing, san pushes his fingers through his hair, leaning back. "at school?" somethings not right. it's crystal clear, now.